And then there’s some days where the best way to show your kids how to love Jesus,
is to be a tourist in the world He created. 🙂
:
vacationing.
Author: Wick
Husband, Father, Pastor, Missionary, Writer, Poet, Friend, reader, coffee enthusiast, hockey Wing-Nut, musical participator, etc...
raising our children for the sake of others…
It’s a phrase heard in homes around the world on a regular basis. Not quite a phrase really, but a word. A word that can speak volumes, or simply be a moment of wanting. From a very young age, our kids learn the word “MINE!”. It takes different forms as they age, and becomes a longer sentence, but it’s meaning can still be a very powerful thing.
Our role as parents, is not just to help our kids grow into “grownups” someday. It’s not even about helping our kids to achieve the 
“American Dream” or become “successful”. One of the most important roles we live out as parents, is to help our children to follow Christ. To live in a way that they bring His healing, New Life, freedom, and Love. In a world where adults are often seen yelling “MINE!” just as loudly as the 3 year old in my house – this can often prove difficult.
Nevertheless, as we live it as parents, we find our children inclined to follow us. In the everyday outpouring of our lives for others. In our living as a part of communities, extended families, and adopting others into our lives, grafting those God Loves into our families and homes just as we ourselves have been grafted into being sons and daughters of His.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4
This is no easy task. In James, we are told that “no man can tame the tongue”, and yet we’re called to honor Him with our words. The illustration James uses talks about a salt-water steam not being able to produce fresh-water. It’s the same with our humility and Love for others. This is not merely talking about the actions and words that come out from us. This is talking about examining our “source”. Where do we “receive life”? What do we wake up each morning, declaring as our goal? What would make today “successful” in your book?
As we allow our lives to be shaped by God’s Love for Others in such a way that these sorts of things take priority, we may find that others are following in our footsteps. Yes, there will still be times where we have to sit our children in “Time Out”, and enforced moments of sharing…but our lives speak much louder than our parenting techniques – as they grow into who God is calling them to be…
Adoption Update: creating context for Kingdom
We’re in the midst of our home-study, investigating every aspect of who we were, who we are, and who we hope to be – as individuals, as a married couple, and as a family. I’ve got a few interesting curves in my family history, including the change of all 3 of my names…so we want to make sure they understand the “why” for each of these things. God has definitely been faithful to bring us through so much, and it’s good to be reminded of it.
I had my first “Physical” in quite a while yesterday. Generally when we’ve found out we’re expecting a new child, my wife ends up seeing doctors, getting blood drawn, and having tests run. Sure, there was that time I passed out during her first ultrasound, and nurses had to care for me, but I blame my knees being locked.
So it’s a new experience, as we’re moving forward in the adoption process, to have a physical and have blood drawn. All of this to ensure that, objectively at least, I’m “fit” to be a parent. It was an interesting experience, primarily due to the awkward conversation:
Blood-taker: “So I see your diagnosis is “adoption”, that’s a new one.” (smile)
Me: (polite laugh) “Yup”
Blood-taker: “So, you adopting from around here?”
Me: “We’re actually adopting from the D.R. Congo.”
Blood-taker: (briefly wide-eyed) “Oh, that’s…cool. Sorry, I didn’t mean to seem surprised…I just, had a late night last night. So uh…are you guys….going for an African child….or a white…?”
Me: (hardly believing what I’m being asked) “Well, I didn’t see that on the order form…(smiling to help her feel less embarrassed)…yes, she’ll most likely be African.”
Blood-taker: “Ah, that’s cool. I just…know that they have both over there, ya’ know?”
I wasn’t entire sure where she was coming from, but I chalked it up to just not having a life context to place our conversation in. I felt awkward on her behalf, and can only hope that reflecting on our brief conversation, next time she may be ready to at least just say “congrats”. But it reminded me of something important.
Even though we are the ones bringing a new daughter into our home, it is taking place in the context of a community. It’s why the physical health checks are required. It’s why there’s a home-study that goes into the details of our families of origin, and our plans for our own home. We’ve chosen to adopt because we’ve felt God’s call on our family and home to wrap our identities around His Love in this way. But the impact of that flows out to anyone we share community with.
It’s the same for any choice a family and home makes to respond to God’s call. When we allow our homes to be shaped and molded by His Love, it will bump up against people in a world who don’t have a context for these types of choices. Whether it’s choosing to live simply, saying “no” to something in your home that you could totally say “yes” to, or giving a home to someone in need. May we continue to live in such a way that surprises/confuses the world around us – forcing others to create a context within with such things take place. Such a “place” certainly seems Kingdom-ish…
words from wick 