Author: Wick

Have you ever had a moment/season where it seems several messages are all coming to you at once from different directions, all saying the same thing?

I’m just about finished reading Dr. Kevin Leman’s book “It’s Your Kid not a gerbil”, and I definitely recommend it. Especially if you’ve not read anything by him before, it’s incredible stuff. But even if you’ve read all his previous books, this one is a great read. At some points, you get the feeling “I’ve heard this before”, because each time he’s saying a similar concept in a slightly different way. You definitely get the message by the end of the book. Parenting young children, especially during their first 6 years, is worth all sorts of sacrifices to have time/energy to building relationships with them, and developing their character/instilling a love for God.

We definitely live in a world where that is not seen as a priority. As adults, we’re pressured to make sacrifices to “get ahead” financially, so that we can build a solid foundation for our future family. Working extra hours are applauded/often required, and missing out on family time today is seen as worth-while for the vague notion of hog-tying a better tomorrow. As parents, we can be pressured just as much to focus on comparing our children to all the children around them. As seen in the most recent issue of “Parenting” magazine, our culture is not a great guide for what matters most:

As Dr.Leman says in his book, “Intellect is a wonderful thing, but being smart can get your child in jail as easily as it can get him or her into MIT.”

This past weekend, my wife and I were able to hear Free Methodist Bishop David Roller do some storytelling. Part of his story involved Moses, and God’s people doing the work of Egypt’s brick-makers. Part of the role of Moses, was to announce that the people of God were intended to do much more things than build the bricks for the Egyptian Empire.

One of the greatest things we can do for our children, especially during these younger years, is to raise them differently than the world suggests. To let go of pressure to raise them into the next incredible brick-makers for whatever empire will pay them enough. To announce by how we raise our children, that there are more important things than clocking in and out, inventing the next big thing, or rising to an athletic/talent star.  To not only guide them that direction, but to model it to them as well.

More important things like loving, and knowing they are loved. Like becoming a young man or woman of character, and reflecting the goodness of God to His creation/children. Like receiving their eternal identity as children of God. Like soaking in every possible moment with mommy and daddy, and knowing mommy and daddy are soaking those moments in as well. Every day that passes will change how our children are held by us.

May we each find new ways to get our family off the wheel this week…to become more than just brick-makers for an Empire they were not born for…:)

This past Monday, our weather was freakishly good.  The sun broke free from it’s icy chains, and for one more day shouted “I am here!!”.  It was just enough to jump start our week.  We had spent the morning on a bit of a playdate, and my better half had spent all night with some girls from youth group, so she was wiped.  Nap-time was surprisingly unattractive to our girls that day, and I didn’t wanna sit inside while it was over 50 degrees and sunny – so out we went!

We explored a new trail at the local park, and the Midwestern views we received were very rewarding.  It also gave me insight into my role as a parent, and as follower of Christ.

When we began our walk, it was in a wide open parking lot.  I kept the girls close to me, and required hand-holding until we made it to the edge of a path.  At that point, we could let go of hands, although we remained fairly close, with dad leading the way.  Finally, we began on the trail.  At this point, they knew dad was okay with them exploring, and they ran forward independently.  Our oldest naturally took on the role of leader, every once in a while pointing something out to her sisters.  Our youngest drifted between walking with her sisters, and walking next to daddy, and being carried over the muddy bits.

If my oldest had broke out with a sprint from the gate of our mini-van sliding door – I would have freaked out.  But once on our path, I knew they had arrived at a place without as many opportunities to make bad choices.  Sure, if they really wanted, they could have run straight into the tall walls of grass on either side, and ended up in who knows what type of muddy mess.  But over-all, I knew that once I’d led them onto this path, I could walk leisurely along behind, watching with joy as my girls “explored” a new trail.

That’s one of our hopes, isn’t it?  As parents, that we can use these young formative years, to lead our children to a path where we can enjoy watching them explore their way forward, knowing we’ve given them a great start.  But even then, there is no 100% guarantee.  They’re free at any moment to jump off the path.  Imagine that feeling, multiplied by the infinite.

God has led us to a path of New Creation, and has given us His Spirit to walk with us.  We can choose to continue exploring the path He’s given, or decide at any moment to jump into the tall grassy walls on either side.  Obviously this analogy is limited.  There are all sorts of animals that could have jumped from the grasses and knocked right into my kids that would have spoiled our little hike.  But in the meantime, I smiled…both as father, and as follower.  I’m thankful He calls/empowers us to lead…

“So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart,
And guided them by the skillfulness of his hands.”
Psalm 78:72