Author: Wick

Time magazine’s recent article on “Marriage: What’s it Good For?“, reveals how much our world needs Marriage.  Not simply people who will get married for happiness, economic partnerships, equal rights, or to procreate, have families and chase an ambiguous dream.  But men and women who pray together, “May our relationship reveal the nature of Christ’s relationship with the Church.”

In the article, Belinda Luscombe writes about PEW Research Center’s new findings on changes in marriage statistics.  She makes some sweeping general statements like “we found is that marriage, whatever its social, spiritual or symbolic appeal, is in purely practical terms just not as necessary as it used to be.”  I believe those same statistics are actually a testimony and renewed call for Marriages that reflect Christ to exist.  How does that happen?  By recognizing the false measurements and foundations used by this exact study.

She seems confused, “Neither men nor women need to be married to have sex or companionship or professional success or respect or even children–yet marriage remains revered and desired.”  Amen!  What a testimony that a marriage relationship is more than simply a means to an end!!

Then she jumps into other stats, “The Pew survey reveals nearly 40% of us think marriage is obsolete.”  She quotes a sociologist Andrew Cherlin, saying “Getting married is a way to show family and friends that you have a successful personal life.  It’s like the ultimate merit badge.”  The progression there is, with more people choosing to live together before marriage (mostly in low income situations), there is less inherent “value” in such a badge.

It’s disappointing that in the entire article, there is not one mention of “covenant”.  The closest she gets is quoting a Marriage educator that, “Marriage is like glue.  You can build something with it.  Living together is like Velcro.”

We believe we have been designed to live in relationship with others.  Each of us is incomplete as an individual.  This leads many of us to marry.  Marriage is given to us as a gift, a covenant relationship where God’s relationship with humanity can be revealed.  He offers Covenant with us, His Love and Forgiveness, and desiring to spend time drawing closer to each other toward what He has revealed will come.  We enter into marriage with that same Love and covenant…not simply an economic, romantic partnership where we strive to achieve “happiness” and feel like we’ve failed or we should move on during days where we feel like less than mountain-top experiences.  Luscombe closes with the statement, “Yet marriage is still the best avenue most people have for making their dreams come true.”

Nope.  Marriage is not healthy when it is viewed primarily as a path to making our “dreams” come true.  As romantic and desirable and marketable as that seems, it can still quickly lead to brokenness without a context for healing.

There is Love.  There is romance.  There are all sorts of things with the gift of marriage that offer to make it an amazing and enjoyable life-long experience. But we receive it as covenant, it is a window into the heart God has for His bride, the Church.  When we do, it reveals Him to a world that needs to hear God’s covenant Love for us, and offers a reminder to others who are caught up pursuing other reasons to marry/be married.

Here in the (Church/marriage relationship), is a place we can be broken, genuine, honest, imperfect, and released from burdens of performance and measurement…and still incredibly loved, valued, and pursued…together.

On the mens’ retreat last month, we had a morning conversation outside.  I thought I’d be the smart one, and wore swim trunks and an undershirt while everyone else wore layers of warmth.  Thunderclouds were nearby, and I smiled, hoping we’d get drenched and these “men” would try to tough it out in their layers.  Well, the rain came.  The circle of guys moved under shelter.  I was just cold.

But good conversation was still had.  The discussion prompt was asked by our host, “When during your day do you “become Christian” for that day?”  Despite sensing some bit of theology I didn’t like there…I understood what he was really asking.  “When do you spend time with Jesus in a way that matters to how you live?”  We went around the circle.  It was obvious that our host believed this should be done early in the day, so that it offers something for the rest of your hours.  I answered honestly.

I’m a morning person.  I can get up whenever the alarm goes off, usually.  But when we began having kids, it began to change.  If I get up early, it often wakes others up, as they’re curious of the noise.  So I began sleeping until our kids woke us up, and the morning was with them.  I find my time usually later in the day, at work (as a pastor, I can usually carve out a moment), or in the car, etc.

Then he pointed out…wouldn’t I rather my daughters grew up learning their dad spent his first moments of each day with Jesus, preparing for whatever may come?  Yes, actually, I’d love that.

I came back from the retreat, and set my alarm for 6am.  My wife has joined me as well.  I’ll be honest, it hasn’t happened every morning.  But most mornings, it’s been a great way to begin the day.  I’ve tried different things: prayer, scripture reading, writing, reading other things, silence, etc.  I’ve found no matter the avenue, God blesses those moments for the day ahead.  On occasion, a daughter does hear the noise and come out.  “What are you doing?” she’ll ask.  “Spending some time with Jesus” we say.  Then they’ll usually cuddle up on the couch and rest, or grab a book themselves.

This is a good discipline. 🙂

Luke 21:8 “And he said, “Beware that you are not led astray; for many will come in my name and say, ‘I am he! and, ‘The time is near!’ Do not go after them.”

We’ve probably heard these words before, but I believe we usually limit their impact on our lives.  We zoom in on the literal translation, and miss out on what Jesus is actually offering us here.  He was speaking to 1st Century Jews about the coming destruction of the temple, etc.  But His words also carry much into our lives as well.

“..many will come in my name…”  We’ve lost some of what Jesus is saying here, simply because we usually reduce “name” to that which a person is called by or responds to.  The word here (onoma) means so much more than simply someone coming and saying the name “Jesus”.  As I’ve posted before to help understand similar texts in the New Testament, we can think of the word “name” in the same sense as “nature”.  Think about the nature of Jesus.  His nature is to bring healing, restoration, forgiveness, right-ness, and to reveal Truth.  To be something we can put our eternal Hope in.  Jesus is saying here, “many will come saying this is also their nature”.  We see this on a daily basis, in advertising and other areas.  Products, people, powers, situations and systems, and “get rich quick” ideas that all offer/promise to be something it makes sense to put our hope or fear in, and receive life from/be anxious over..

May we not be led “off the path” by these things.

Then he ads an extra blow. “..and say, ‘I am he!’ ”  Most of our translations say “I am he!”  But the actual word here (eimi) does not actually include “he”.  It was added to reinforce the “come in my name” statement.  The word here is the same used in  1 Corinthians 1:28, “God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to reduce to nothing things that are (eimi).”

The literal translation of these words, then, is “come in my name and say, ‘I am‘..”, which says much more that our first glance.  It’s not just warning us against people who come and say “I’m Jesus”, or “I’m with Jesus”.  It’s warning us against everything that comes and pretends to BE something to worry/concern/live for/give priority and place in our life.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are on us once again.  We can fly right past being thankful and into the deals, ads, and shopping for gifts, because the Christmas shopping season proclaims “I AM”.  Many of us will spend time with family and friends, and there may be relationship issues and brokenness in our midst that needs forgiveness and healing.  We need freedom from these things in our life that are shouting “I AM!!”.  Jesus offers us that freedom…and community with others who are living as people made free.

In your life this week, what is shouting “I AM!!”?  Jesus offers freedom even now.  May God free us, and may we live as thank-filled…