Author: Wick

By this point in the D6 Conference, we’d met several speakers who were parents of 3 daughters.  I enjoyed listening to these particularly for obvious reasons.  Haynes spoke specifically on the topic of “What is Family Ministry, and what does it look like?”  The question of how do we encourage parents as they pour into their children intentionally, leading to multi-generational discipleship naturally occurring in our church families.

He focused quite a bit on the concept of “Milestones”, which seemed to serve several purposes.  Both to give a sort of “rite of passage” quality to maturing in Christ, but also to remind parents/youth that they are on a journey to something “next”.  Haynes called parents to remember the importance of “Blessing” their children, and celebrating things as a family.

He offered a common path of “Milestones” to be celebrated both by church AND family:

 – Parent/Baby Dedication
 – Faith Commitment
 – Preparing for adolescence
 – Purity for life
 – Right of passage (i.e. being blessed by parents)
 – High School Graduation
 – Life in Christ

In actual homes, he emphasized what practical actions were useful to focus on across the board.  Things for families to make sure they practice regularly are:

 – Faith Talks – crazy how low a percentage of families actually talk/pray in regards to God and Spirituality.
 – God Moments – the whole “home and away, when you walk and when u rise”. Watch for the everyday moments where God can be pointed out/revealed.
 – Celebrate Milestones – especially the ones listed above!!!
 – Abide – John 15:5 🙂

Haynes talked a bit about small groups catching onto these concepts as one of the few ways to bring the exact message to homes around the community.  To be purposeful, as: “the purpose of small groups is to create adult disciples in order to have parents who can disciple children.”  Now obviously that cannot apply across the board, and I wouldn’t put that on a small group advertisement. 

By this point in the week, I was getting hungry for more of the “Why” to actually be spoken of.  Something beyond simply growing more and more homes full of more and more/deeper disciples.  Something beyond simply finding a more effective way of making sure young adults feel like they can be connected to God’s purposes here.

..and that was on it’s way. 🙂

Vicki was going to speak on “Reaching Families without Sacrificing Spiritual Orphans in Youth Ministry”, or at least that was the suggested title within the notebook we were all given to contain our scribblings.  As to the topic, I think she touched on it here and there.

What it felt more like was a session titled, “Here are some really good points, with some compelling filler from a woman who cares a lot.”  🙂

The points were all over the map:

 – She read from the now-very-popular and often-linked story from CNN about the massive amounts of teenagers who “fake” being a Christian due to the life situations they find themselves in….but as they grow find other interests.  Some good stuff there, I’d recommend it to all parents, for sure.

 – She commented on how ridiculous amounts of parenting books exist for expecting parents, parents of newborns…etc.  They are among the top sellers nationwide.  But the list of parenting books for discipling teenagers, and young adults?  Very few.  And even fewer the parents who take advantage of such resources.

 – At one point, she read some “Letters to the Editor” from “Seventeen Magazine” from the mid-1940’s.  Surprising to hear parents thank the publication for their fine attention to moral standards, and for being such a positive influence on young women.  I don’t suppose they receive too many of those messages these days.

 – Courtney emphasized 3 common parental traits among youth raised in the church who leave religion:
          1.  Parents model something OTHER than the Love of God as their primary affection.
          2. Parents fail to acknowledge their role as the primary discipler of their child.
          3. Parents/leaders can often focus more on behavior modification than heart inhabitation.

As she moved toward closing, she reminded the audience that her words were not meant only for parents of children/teens, and youth pastors.  That being “primary source” of discipling doesn’t end when they move out of the house.  Sure, it’ll take on different forms, but at no point in the life do we find ourselves smacking our left knee saying, “I messed up.”

I like that.  And it’s a good reminder/Hope for parents who hear all of this late in the child’s life…you’re not done!  Encourage them into relationship with other Godly adults, and seek to live toward Christ and His bride yourself.  And pray….pray…..pray. 🙂

K, I know…I spelled “official” wrong.  I figured it was an appropriate way to begin a post about myself.   There’s a car dealership across from an intersection I sit at often.  It was painted “It’s Offical, We’ve Moved!” like 4 years ago on the glass…and since no one has purchased the old dealership yet….it’s remained misspelled indefinitely.  Someday that window will be broken by vandals.  And I will smile.

Speaking of me smiling, I absolutely had to share about how ridiculously cute my children are with two brief stories to encourage you today:

This past Sunday, after being gone 5 days to a conference in Dallas, I was at the breakfast table with my girls before church.  Sarah had made some homemade apple muffins that morning, and they were just about ready to eat.  Just then, Addie dramatically put her hand on her side/belly, and said, “My tummy hurts…”  To which Sarah and I, not really worried but wanting her to know we love her…asked her why her tummy hurt, and if she was just hungry for breakfast.  But before Addie could reply, a voice came from across the table…Sophie wasn’t waiting to hear anything:

“Dear God, please help Addie’s tummy to feel better. Aaaaa-Mennn!!  (then turning to Addie)  Now your tummy don’t hurt anymore!!”

Which would be the cutest event this week, until Childrens’ Church.  I went with Addie, because as a 4 year old, she still wasn’t quite comfortable being left alone in a new class of older kids.  So we sat/listened together.  They talked about Jesus “paying the price” for our sin, and enacted a scene to illustrate.  Each child stood before the “Judge” (a nice older lady, who couldn’t help but smile as she pretended) and read a card handed to them.  The card told them what they were guilty of (bad words, stealing, etc.), and the judge told them how much they owed.  No one could pay, so all had to head to the “Jail” (row of chairs), from which Jesus rescued them all later on.

Addie and I were last.  I didn’t know how she’d respond, but figured it was good to find out anyway.  We walked up to the judge and were handed our card.  “Lying to your parents” was our offense.  I looked at Addie with a wink to let her know we were just pretending and said, “Uh oh Addie, we lied to our parents.”

It didn’t take long for the fun smile to leave her face and her eyes to get larger.  But instead of the tears I thought may come from such an accusation, she didn’t miss a beat before defending herself: “No I didn’t, dad, it was Sophie!!”

Needless to say, me and the judge were cracking up. 🙂 

I love my girls. 🙂