Posted in Different Moments, Different Thoughts

re-pacing.

I remember college life.  Staying up late talking to a certain someone until I’d lost the ability to connect my words with logical thought.  (We still joke about how one night, reeaaalllly late into a phone conversation, I asked her if she wanted her vegetables mashed.  It was time to sleep.)  Those same late nights were often followed by early mornings, jumping from class to class, connecting with as many people as I could because I was socially devouring each moment like the socially repressed awkward high schooler I was.  In the midst of chaotic college life, a few times a week, I would attend a class that stood out a bit from the others.

The professor began class, not by ringing a bell or hollering a cattle call.  He began with a prayer.  It was not usually a long prayer, at least if it’d been written out.   Usually it was only a few words long.  But the way it was prayed, gathered our souls in poignant silence.  I know I have friends who actually wrote down many of his prayers, even though he would probably laugh at such a thing.   It wasn’t about a gnostic search for meaning in mysterious short phrases.

It was.

About the power of words, and

Changing.

The pace.

Of our hearts and minds.

Toward Christ.

rubygolfI was reminded of those valuable transitions this morning as our 3 year old brought frustration to the table for breakfast.   We’d had a great morning already.  I started out with a jog (old school DC Talk!!) as we’re in the midst of “Couch 2 5k”.  Then I came home and helped get things ready for the day, helping the girls say “good morning” to our chickens, etc..while mom made breakfast.  I really needed to take the van in for a repair, but was delaying so I could sit with the family to eat.  Nevertheless, I kept glancing at the clock.  Finally we sat down to warm plates of eggs, bacon, and toast.  As we held hands around the table, I asked Ruby to pray for our meal.  So she began praying.

In this case, it wasn’t an incredibly soul-provoking pace of words.  But she prayed for so. Many.  Things.  Her prayer rambled on for quite sometime, including a prayer for our chickens…and finally I realized I was tense.  I need reminders like a 3 year old praying, to force me out of my tense need to control my daily schedule.  Moments that take power away from me, and invite me to experience a moment without anxiety over what else needs to happen.

Finally, even she forgot she was praying as her eyes began to wander around the room.  We lovingly encouraged her to close with a collective “Amen”, and the meal began.   Sure my eggs had lost some heat.  The fresh raspberry jam had made the bread a little soggy.  But the quieting, and slowing of my soul was a delicious moment I’m still thanking my 3 year old for.

May we find ourselves breathing slower in frustrating moments today…with a smile on our faces that comes from a thankful re-pacing of our day…

Posted in Adoption Journey, Different Moments, Different Thoughts

and so…

It’s been a while since I’ve posted an official “update”.  We have so many friends and family who have given, and are joining us in prayer – I felt like I wanted to post “something”.  So here it is:  we are still waiting.

It hasn’t always been easy, and there are still moments where it’s not.  But we’ve been reminded through it all – sometimes it’s okay to wait.  Just like the blog I posted earlier this week, sometimes it’s good for us to remember that in the midst of ugly suffering – there is something beautiful and precious happening.  We can hope and pray that something along those lines is happening here.

8668379016_09631c718a_hWhether it’s the fact that our daughter is having a few more days with her birth family; or simply that God knows I haven’t quite released my desire to “do it on my own strength” yet….or possibly even just because it just hasn’t happened yet.  We continue to receive a peace about where we are at this point.  Waiting.  Trusting.  Breathing slowly.  Knowing that God’s activity is not contained only in the act of bringing home our daughter….these moments are formative, prayer-inducing, and Spirit-relying.  After all, “patience” is just one bit of the Fruit of the Spirit….right?

Pratically – we’re at the top of the list still.  We’ve had more than one occasion where we received the offer of a referral that almost met the requirements we’ve been approved for.  In each case, there has been a difficult moment of prayer, and incredible experiences of desperation before a God who we want to love – and who Loves these children.  It’s not easy to release a child/children who really needs a family, but we know there are several incredible families on the list after ours – many who are better set-up or shaped to receive these.

So for now, we continue to pray.  We check our e-mail about once an hour (at least).  We pray some more.  We try to figure out how to raise a few more bucks (only about $10,000 left to go, if you wanna give just click here!).  We talk about what God is doing, and look forward to how our family will grow….in so many ways.

And not forget that we have 3 daughters at home who are being transformed by being a part of our family as well.  Their little hearts are bursting with Love, even in the moments it may not be 100% transparent.  They get so excited to realize that by living from love – they are changing the world.  The WORLD.  They pray for Phoebe, and can’t wait to meet her.

Someday soon, we will move forward.  Until then..we continue to grow and be changed….

Posted in Different Moments, Different Scriptures

not optimistic. :)

Tragedy.  Suffering.  Pain.  Humanity taking the lives of others in their hand, and purposefully causing injury and death.  So many events just from the past week or so seem to be screaming out, “Where is Jesus as Lord?”  This is the world my daughters are growing up into.  The world in which my ability to keep them safe is drastically reduced every day they grow.

I’m a huge Detroit Redwings fan, and my entire hockey-watching life I’ve watched them head into the playoffs during this next week or so.  But this season has been a rough one.  Recently their head coach, Mike Babcock was interviewed.  They asked him if he was optimistic about his teams’ chance to make it into the playoffs.  His response: “I don’t know if it’s optimistic; I think it’s realistic,”

I wish I shared his realism.  But I’ll definitely be optimistic, even as I begin growing my playoff beard. (Just in case we need it early.)

But his vantage point reminds me of God’s view, as he looks out over our world that is so filled with uncertainty and suffering.  In Matthew chapter 13, Jesus tells a parable that offers us insight into the situation our world is in today:

“The Kingdom of Heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared. “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’ “‘An enemy did this,’ he replied. “The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’ “‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them.” 13:24-29

For an explanation of the parable, skip to verse 36.  But it seems that even when God looks out on our world that has so many spillwayweeds growing, He sees more than these.  He sees the beauty of what is growing through the children of the Kingdom.  Growth that, between telling the parable and explaining it, Jesus connects to a small amount of yeast working its way through the entire dough.  Or a small mustard seed growing into a large, strong tree that provides shelter.

It’s important for us to remember as we look out on our world this week.  As we look for ways to honestly look into our childrens’ eyes and say “Yes, even in the midst of all of these weeds growing, Jesus is Lord.”  Help your children to identify the places where Kingdom is growing.  Find ways for the Kingdom to arrive in and through your family.  Wonder what that can look like, practically?  Check out the Fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23.  Spend a day focusing on each one with your children, and as you participate in Kingdom growing – know that as Jesus delays coming to complete what He began by becoming Lord – it’s not because He’s optimistic – He’s realistic.  There is so much in our world that’s worth giving the chance to continue growing…