Posted in Different Moments

morning without her.

I awoke as the natural alarm clock within me suggested, without offering a chance to press the snooze button. It was 5:15am, and the mental post-it note from the night before reminded me I’d not yet taken the garbage to the fence. I was still unsure what time the morning men came and gathered refuse, but I did not want to find out after it was too late. I quickly came to find myself with shorts and flip flops on, crossing the dewy grass toting a giant wheeled garbage can over a yard in need of mowing. Wiping my feet on the kitchen carpet, I patted myself on the back for a responsible use of morning, and paused to decide my next course of action.

Should I wake her?

I decided to make some coffee, and she continued to slumber. In our old house, the kids would have heard dad walking just outside their door, but here I had the privilege of tip-toeing around the first floor while they completed their sleep cycles in peace. A few roads waited passively ahead of me: I could enjoy a bit of uninterrupted reading, wake her up, or begin to prepare for the day; among other things. I chose to wait until just enough coffee was in the pot, to pour myself a tall hot mug of focus (You have to love a coffeemaker that will continue to brew patiently until you return the pot.) and find my book.

I was reminded briefly of important things I needed to get with her about today. But they could wait.

I’d been reading a book on hiking the Appalachian Trail. This morning contained incredible views of nature, combined with interesting stories of locations off the beaten-path, but well worth a brochure – if not a movie. Then it happened – I heard the patter of feet above me. I listened as they quietly traveled the distance of the 2nd floor, down the stairs, and out into my area of the house. Thumb still in her mouth, our 2nd born smiled and mumbled an excited whisper, “daddy!” as she climbed into my lap.

I was thankful I’d chosen not to wake her still. Mornings with my daughters are much better without her. We cuddled, and Sophie willingly recorded a new ring-tone for daddy, before her sister joined us in the moment. It wasn’t long before they returned upstairs to find something interesting from the previous night. Again, I chose not to wake her. Not just yet.

I went upstairs after them to see what was going on, and lovingly shared a few moments where they enjoyed a bed-making lesson from an OCD father. Proudly, I allowed my toddlers to make their own beds, without commenting on crooked sheets or untucked corners. There will be time for that someday.

Oh, the things I would’ve missed if I’d woken her earlier. Sure, there were enough compelling reasons to wake her. Important things. Unimportant things. We hadn’t seen much of each other the day before, and no doubt she had plenty of updates for me.

But as my three girls and I climbed back into our giant, queen sized bed with mommy to talk about the day ahead, and laugh a bit together….I was thankful I’d not turned on the computer yet that morning.

Of course, I had to use her eventually….or I wouldn’t have been able to tell the story of my morning without her. 🙂

Posted in Different Moments

vacationing.

And then there’s some days where the best way to show your kids how to love Jesus,

is to be a tourist in the world He created. 🙂

Gotta love being able to see the sunrise every morning with a good book…
Blue crab for breakfast anyone??
Moon-lit dancing on the beach before bed…
Catchin’ waves…
Whew…vacation is hard work…
Like Father….

:

..like daughter.
Shared a family sunrise…what a blessing. 🙂
Posted in Adoption Journey, Different Moments

Adoption Update: creating context for Kingdom

We’re in the midst of our home-study, investigating every aspect of who we were, who we are, and who we hope to be – as individuals, as a married couple, and as a family. I’ve got a few interesting curves in my family history, including the change of all 3 of my names…so we want to make sure they understand the “why” for each of these things. God has definitely been faithful to bring us through so much, and it’s good to be reminded of it.

I had my first “Physical” in quite a while yesterday. Generally when we’ve found out we’re expecting a new child, my wife ends up seeing doctors, getting blood drawn, and having tests run. Sure, there was that time I passed out during her first ultrasound, and nurses had to care for me, but I blame my knees being locked.

So it’s a new experience, as we’re moving forward in the adoption process, to have a physical and have blood drawn. All of this to ensure that, objectively at least, I’m “fit” to be a parent. It was an interesting experience, primarily due to the awkward conversation:

Blood-taker: “So I see your diagnosis is “adoption”, that’s a new one.” (smile)

Me: (polite laugh) “Yup”

Blood-taker: “So, you adopting from around here?”

Me: “We’re actually adopting from the D.R. Congo.”

Blood-taker: (briefly wide-eyed) “Oh, that’s…cool. Sorry, I didn’t mean to seem surprised…I just, had a late night last night. So uh…are you guys….going for an African child….or a white…?”

Me: (hardly believing what I’m being asked) “Well, I didn’t see that on the order form…(smiling to help her feel less embarrassed)…yes, she’ll most likely be African.”

Blood-taker: “Ah, that’s cool. I just…know that they have both over there, ya’ know?”

I wasn’t entire sure where she was coming from, but I chalked it up to just not having a life context to place our conversation in. I felt awkward on her behalf, and can only hope that reflecting on our brief conversation, next time she may be ready to at least just say “congrats”. But it reminded me of something important.

Even though we are the ones bringing a new daughter into our home, it is taking place in the context of a community. It’s why the physical health checks are required. It’s why there’s a home-study that goes into the details of our families of origin, and our plans for our own home. We’ve chosen to adopt because we’ve felt God’s call on our family and home to wrap our identities around His Love in this way. But the impact of that flows out to anyone we share community with.

It’s the same for any choice a family and home makes to respond to God’s call. When we allow our homes to be shaped and molded by His Love, it will bump up against people in a world who don’t have a context for these types of choices. Whether it’s choosing to live simply, saying “no” to something in your home that you could totally say “yes” to, or giving a home to someone in need. May we continue to live in such a way that surprises/confuses the world around us – forcing others to create a context within with such things take place. Such a “place” certainly seems Kingdom-ish…