Category: Different Moments

We’re learning that just as important as regular “date nights” with each other, my wife and I should have times with our daughters as individuals.  It gives us time to talk, and gives them an opportunity to have some one-on-one time with a parent – which is great for both of us.  (Also, it’s more than a little fun to be able to wake THEM up in the morning….:P)

Recently, I took Addie out for a “Daddy Daughter Date” on the morning of her 5th birthday.  I will confess, I wasn’t ready for what she shared with me.  It was almost too much, and I gasped as the gravity of what she shared hit me full force.   We were talking about random things, just enjoying being together and waiting for our food.  When finally she said, “Daddy, I had a funny dream last night!”

“Really?” I smiled.  “What was it about?”  I was expecting a short story about a talking chipmunk, or her flying through the air and into the water as a Mer-Fairy (don’t get me started on Mer-Fairies).  Boy, was I wrong.

“I don’t want to say it loud, I’ll come whisper it to you.” She said.  I smiled back at her again.  Such a cute five year old.  She grabbed her cup of chocolate milk, and scooted out of the booth.  Sliding up next to me on the bench, she cupped her hands over her mouth and leaned in close…and shared a “silly” dream where in it…she kissed a boy.

I wish I could go back in time, and change my immediate reaction.  It was not a laugh.  It probably wasn’t even a smile.  It was a large eyed, slack-jawed, gasping for air…whoa-ment.  (that’s short for a “whoa” moment)  Did God and all of creation conspire to force me into a new level of parenting on the exact date my daughter turned 5 years old?  How in the world….?

Quickly I realized she may be embarrassed (she was), and I put on a huge fake smile, hugging her close while fighting back any fatherly tears that might threaten the moment.  “Boy, that was a silly dream, eh?  You’re not a married grown up!!  Haha!!” I said, probably through too much enthusiasm.  She bought it.  Her smile back confirmed that yes, that was a bit of silliness, and it’s nothing she’ll be pursuing anytime soon.  Crisis averted.

Yesterday I took our middle child, Sophie, out for a “Daddy Daughter Date”.  I’ll admit, I was a bit nervous when it came time for conversation.  What new comment that screamed “I’m growing up!” would she launch my way?  Thankfully, it was all smiles and talking about playing with her friends.  Whew.  Though I did learn that the McDonalds with the “Hangerburger Chairs” also has a small video game screen for kids.  That means we probably won’t be going there anytime soon for a date.  Which is fine, because I found a small place close by that has fresh donuts, and opens at 6am.  We’ll have “Daddy Daughter Donut Dates” from now on, hopefully.  Unless a free birthday meal is in order. 🙂

Imagine the emotional roller coaster God must be on, watching you and I learn and grow!

Recently my wife and I attended a seminar by Rebecca Ingram Powell, who reminded us that one of the most important relationships we can encourage with our children – is their relationship to each other.  Siblings generally share the most time together throughout a lifetime, at least in amount of years they can be in relationship.

We hear about “sibling bonds” all the time.   We encourage them to show love.  We remind them not to fight.  We force them to share.  We duct tape them together in hopes than in about 10 minutes they can accomplish what they couldn’t the entire day previously.  Just kidding. 🙂

But when it happens on its’ own, it’s a beautiful thing.  Seriously.  When your walking down the sidewalk, and you look over to see your daughters join hands on their own – you want to stop time.  Breathe in that moment.  You helped that to happen.  So I felt like I needed to brag on what happened last night:

We’d had a “garage sale” day.  You know, the kinda day where you host your own garage sale, and the rest of life’s daily worries seem to fade away?  The girls were running around the yard while we waited on our last few customers (everything was free by this point, grateful as we were to not have to bring it all back in!)  That’s when the scream came.

I look to where the girls are playing, ready to defend against the dragon, and I see our 3 year old, Sophie, limping a bit toward me with a sob that looked like it was about to jump off her emotional cliff.  Her toe was bleeding, but she assured me she did not need to have her toe washed or get a band-aid.  The great father that I am, I referred her to mom, our home-trained RN.  The playing continued after she was taken care of, and little more was said about the incident.  Until later.

Before bed, we’ve been talking with our girls about their “Favorite Part of the Day”, and “Not So Favorite Part of the Day”.  Usually these are great times to talk/bond with them, and see what might be standing out.  The prized moment came, as we asked Addison, our newly-turned 5 year old, about her “Not So Favorite Part” of the day.  Her response?
“When Sophie got her toe hurt.” Complete with sympathetic-sisterly-love-facial-expressions.
Needless to say, we melted into a mushy moment of family smiling.

I can’t imagine how God feels when we’re motivated – not by a sermon reminding us, and not by a scripture we read that morning (though those are great too).  But when we’re motivated simply by love for our brothers and sisters in Christ, to carry their burdens, and feel their pain along with them.  May we continue to seek His heart…