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I could feel it before I even opened my eyes.  There was a presence in the room.  Not shaking me into consciousness, but not exactly hiding either.  I resisted.  Maybe if I just pretended I didn’t notice, the presence would go away.  But I couldn’t.  She wasn’t using any sort of tool to force my eyelids open.  At the same time, there is not much more infinitely compelling than this kind of moment.

As I began to open my eyes slowly, the scene before me took shape.  There at the edge of my bed, was my two year old, Sophie Grace.  Eyes as wide as the sunrise over the Eastern Sea.  Smile beaming brighter than anything filtering through the window.  An almost satisfied gasp as she registered that I’d noticed her standing there next to me.  As I reach out to her, my arms feel heavy as I’ve not moved them in hours.  But the moment they make contact with hers, energetically clinging to me as if they’ve awaited this moment for years – it seems she has given my arms new energy.  Her spirit floods me to the innermost parts of who I am, and I want nothing more than to draw her close and never let go.  Just being together makes so much else fade away.  Schedules.  Meetings.  Events.  Debts.  Rainy weather. Whatever.  I am blessed to hold and be held.

It’s a moment I reflect back on, and thank God when he has approached me in a similar way.  Times where He’s entered my life in new ways, and not “shaken” me or forced my eyes open with any sort of tool.  Nevertheless his presence is such an infinitely compelling reason to allow myself to be raised from all types of slumber.

And the joy on God’s face, the Happiness of the Spirit when we recognize His presence and reach out for Him….ahh….it is good.  Looking forward to more.

As word spread quickly that Jesus was coming to town, excitement grew.  An almost electrically charged anticipation built as people prepared to welcome the Rabbi who they wanted to claim as King.  They created a path in his honor, and gathered garments and palm branches to adorn his entry.  They are claiming Jesus Christ as King.  As authority.  As the One they desire to live their lives for, from, and under.

And in the corner of this picture, we see many of us, setting our palm branches somewhere else. 

I think the most popular place to put our palm branches may be our clocks.  Our time is precious, and belongs to us.  Or maybe our planners.  The dates in our notebooks filled with inked in commitments, events, and television shows.  Perhaps our palm branches rest comfortably under our wallets.  Our financial resources, and the desire for them to grow – sometimes even out of a misguided notion that rightness with God will lead to monetary and material gain.  It could even be that our palm branches are directly underneath our own feet.  Welcoming ourselves as the ultimate authority and measure of the daily choices we make.  Each of us may have something different we are tempted to set our palm branches before.

Today we are reminded that we live in a world FULL of opportunities to commit ourselves to.  Places to go.  People to serve.  Cultural “norms” that aren’t thought about much at all. 

Today we are challenged to pay attention where our palm branches have been resting.  What have we been welcoming into our lives in the way we should be welcoming Christ?  What have we been submitting to as an authority?  What are our lives oriented around?

May God be with us, as we ask these questions of ourselves…and also of the families many of us are raising/building.  What better week to allow God to help us move our palm branches into the path of Jesus, than the final week of Lent?  We look forward to the week ahead, to the remembering of the crucifixion, and to the celebrating of something much more than “coming back to life”….

There was some point between high school and where I find myself, where theology and religion became regularly a lot more complicated. Partially to get grades, partially to prove that I’m not simply in youth ministry for pizzas or for a short term, and partially just because I enjoy it – much of my relating to and searching for God comes at deeper levels than before.

To the point where phrases such as “everyone has a Jesus-shaped hole” began to rub me the wrong way. To sum up all that God has done and desires to do in something that so obviously falls short….shiver.

Thankfully, I’m in youth ministry AND a parent. Both things that constantly require to embrace God as a child, and as someone who desperately needs something I can grab hold of in a world that’s unstable.

Sure, statements such as “accept Jesus into your heart”, and “Jesus-shaped hole” fall short. But then again, so does the latest best seller by NT Wright, Donald Miller, or John Caputo. That’s the frustratingly beautiful aspect of the created seeking the creator. It’s an eternal endeavor, always out of reach and always compelling us to try anyway.  And yes, it’s illustrated wonderfully in the topic I’ve also been spending time chewing on lately – marriage.

“I love my wife.” A simple statement that can mean anything from how I love her smile, to a deeply symbolic statement about how I appreciate the fact that we’re growing old and building a legacy together.

I think in both cases, whether in speaking of God OR in conversations about loving my spouse – it’s helpful to be aware of the heart. The motivations for the words. Like Sarah used to ask me when we were dating, and still asks from time to time when I tell her I love her – “What is making you say that in this moment?”

Truth is, there are definitely times where it is healing salve to my soul to think of myself as a Jesus-shaped donut. And then there are other times where I need something more. Thankfully, God continues to be God through any season of me…:)