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Posted in Adoption Journey, Different Thoughts, Uncategorized

Insanity of God…

Posted on by Wick

“I held tight to the psalmist David’s conviction that the weeping and tears might linger for the night, but that joy would come in the morning.  Sadly, after six years in Somalia, each morning brought only more tears.  For perhaps the first time in my life, I was dealing with something that I could not fix. Prayer and obedience and hard work and good training and Godly intentions and sacrifice – none of it seemed to make a difference.” – Nik Ripken, The Insanity of Godinsanityofgod

We are being reminded lately, that when you connect your life with the broken heart of God, it’s often heart-breaking.  It’s not a great sales pitch, and it’s not a great advertisement to convince a world that doesn’t know Jesus that we’ve made a good decision.  It’s not even a great testimony to convince other Christians we are, indeed, following God’s call on our life.  Heck, it’s not even a great assurance to ourselves as we lay our heads on pillows each night…wondering where God is.

The truth is, God’s people are suffering globally.  They are suffering in horrible and unjust ways. They are sold into slavery, trampled underfoot in the name of progress, cast aside for more important things.  They are thrown in prisons, beheaded, shot at, and sometimes – even made fun of in high school cafeterias.  Does this mean God has turned a blind eye to their needs?  Is God deaf to the cries of the suffering followers of Christ?  Why doesn’t He do something?  Lord of all creation, quiet in places that severely need His Words of healing and life.

I imagine the scene between Elijah and Ba’al, only this time it’s our God who is scoffed at, “Shout louder….Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling.  Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened.” 1 Kings 18:27

These are some of the same thoughts we have, now over 2 years into an adoption process.  2 years, and still we feel very close to where we began.  Those who know about adoption in the DRC might be quick to say something like, “What’d you expect?”  Certainly when we began the process, we knew not much about our path was certain.  But we stepped out on faith that we were responding in a way that revealed the heart of God.  Even though at times, if feels we’ve nothing to show for it….I still believe these years have been growing fruit for the Kingdom.  Not that I’d choose the same road, if I could go back in time.

Nik Ripken found himself in a similar spot, after years of suffering in Somalia.  Crying out to God, and returning to the US to see what needed to change, he set out on a new mission: to find out what good God was in places of intense suffering.  What he discovered is enough to fill many books, and encourage the heart of any broken follower.  God, and the belief in God is accomplishing great amounts of light in the midst of a darkened world.  Stories that don’t make sense, but reveal the heart and life of a God I’d give my life and the life of my family to serve.

“..before we can grasp the full meaning of the Resurrection, we first have to witness or experience crucifixion.  If we spend our lives so afraid of suffering, so averse to sacrifice, that we avoid even the risk of persecution or crucifixion, then we might never discover the true wonder, joy and power of a resurrection faith.  Ironically, avoiding suffering could be the very thing that prevents us from partnering deeply with the Risen Jesus.” – Nik Ripken

There appear to be forks in the road, very near, as we continue responding to God’s call on our family to reveal His love to a broken world.  We’re not yet sure what it will look like, but we know what it will feel like.  Heart-breaking.  As much as we have many confirmations, that we’re right in the midst of where the heart of God is…..it’s still hard.  Even as I can smile at my family, knowing we’re laying foundations for a home God can, and is using to change the world….I hold them before God, continuing to believe that He’s able to do what He has not yet done here…bring redemption to this story.

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Bowles of Blessing

Posted on by Wick

In the past several years, we’ve been talking at church about the “Power of Blessing”, and the importance of a parent passing that on to their child.  Certainly we were blessed by many sources growing up, and this past week we said goodbye to a woman who understood how to bless quite well.  Dorothy Thula Sutton was born in August, 1917, and raised a family down in Tennessee after marrying Frank E. Bowles.  They became the “Great-Grandparents” everyone wishes they had.  Southern accents, southern cooking, and love that had been richly steeped in southern hospitality.

I have flashes of memory from growing up with my Great-Grandma Bowles. I remember her frail grandma-strength hugs, and southern drawl that made every word she said entertaining to listen to. The stories, both short and long, about what life was like. About things I understood, and about things I had no clue of. The reminders to pray. To love Jesus. To thank God. The long lines of card-tables set up for extended-family gatherings in their basement. I remember being that boy who stared in awe at the amount of money in my Christmas cards, and the humble loving reminder that came with the crisp $5 bill in every birthday card. I remember her pride as I performed at community theater events. I remember the Christmas bags of goodies that always came with Bubbliscious, Chocolate-Covered Marshmallow Snowmen, and some large fresh fruit anchoring it all down.bowlesanderson

But most of all, I remember her steadfast presence in love in the midst of family chaos. When walls were coming down all around, and relationships were stretched thin, there our Great-Grandparents were. Humbly admitting they didn’t know all the details on everything that was happening, but that they loved us….and wanted the best for us. That they were proud of us. Reminding us that God was still God….and Jesus was still with us.

Even as I grew older, moved away to college, and into adulthood…those cards and reminders of their love came, and began to come to my wife and children as well. (Although I still smile as I remember the “quote marks” on either side of my name….as if it were a nick-name. My guess is the pen was held by grandma…but no doubt at grandpas approving southern-sounding nod.) Never requiring anything (but appreciating a 5-minute phone-call “Thanks”…and giving us the real gift – a reminder that they pray for us regularly), every birthday was celebrated with another crisp $5 bill. In my mind and heart…those cards will always continue to come. Our oldest daughter received hers 2 days ago….a couple days after Grandma passed. The love signed to that card was one of the last things Grandma passed on before joining Grandpa with Jesus.

I’m thankful for the stories, both known and unknown. The ones that will be told as family gathers to mourn and celebrate a life well and faithfully lived…and the ones that will be told as we remember them in gatherings in the future. But most of all, I’m thankful to be a part of the story she helped pen….the story that we continue to write in our family even now….

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re- “placing” Jesus

Posted on by Wick

“We were left to believe that Jesus was physically raised from the dead but no longer present in any particular place.” – Ken Wilson, Mystically Wired

In chapter 4 of his book, Wilson talks about prayer as a location. As something we participate in by “going somewhere”.  I highly recommend this book to anyone launching into new realms of prayer.

Even early in the book, he is gradually re-introducing Christianity as a religion with roots in Eastern/Middle-Eastern traditions, while remaining very scripture/experience/reason centered as well. He begins with the frustrations that I’m well familiar with, and would venture to say many others would be as well. Wilson reminds us of what prayer truly can be, and that our frustrations with prayer generally stem from our attempts to make it something else.

Later in the book, he introduces several prayer techniques that may be new to many people. These techniques and prayers find their sources in ancient practices that have been used by Christ-followers and God-seekers for a very long time. I remember being introduced to many of these back in college, while reading The Sacred Way, by Tony Jones.

What I hadn’t received with Jones’ book, was the much on the theology of space/place. The words from Wilson’s book here, as quoted above, help to fill a gap that has existed for quite sometime. It’s something that is simultaneously quite complex and mysterious, and yet simple for us to grasp:

1. We pray in the resurrected Jesus, and in His name. We believe He stands as the bridge between the world/creation as it is (broken and dying from sin), and the New Heavens and New Earth God desires to bring about. (Colossians 1:18)
2. We believe Jesus has been bodily/physically resurrected, and exists somewhere/somehow as the resurrected Christ. Scripture tells us He has gone to be with the Father (John 16:28)
3. So it follows, when we pray in Jesus, we are connecting/participating in that place where God is. We cannot explain/rationalize this away, and probably cannot grasp just how important it may be.

Wilson reminds us that for ages, “heaven” was believed to be “up there” somewhere. At some point, science allowed us to see/travel much further than eyes had previously seen. We discovered there was no “up there” besides the seemingly infinite “space”. When that happened, heaven took the form of an “idea” and became spiritually intangible. Prayer became more and more an introspective “what happens inside of me” journey, and the focus became more and more within…even though we still believed we were connecting with a very real God.

That same realm of science is discovering there are things we cannot know/explain. There are atomic and quantum levels of existence that we cannot know or predict, and some things seem to point toward parallel universes/dimensions. So what exactly does prayer accomplish in regard to our relationship to a God who may be “located” more fully in another “dimension”? What does that even mean? 🙂

I don’t know. 🙂

But it certainly increases my urge/desire to spend more time going before that God, and praying in Jesus’ name. Not because I believe in some gnostic magical passage I’ll discover, but because I believe in the bodily resurrected Christ who has called us to pray in His name…perhaps I’ll even take my family with me. 🙂