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I’m giving this one up. (a youth ministry post)

There are a lot of ideas and programs I come across as a youth pastor.  Some of them inspire me, some of them challenge me, and many of them don’t interest me.  But some of them are so incredibly good that I want to take a time set aside with our youth group and gather as many teenagers as I can around it.  I want to infuse so much about who we are, and what we’re doing with that resource, and enjoy the fruit of what can happen from it.

But not this time.

This time I’ve found a resource that is too great for me to shape a youth ministry night around.  Something that you should be upset if I stole these moments from your family.  It comes from what you might consider a surprising source…me being a 32 year old cynical yet starry-eyed youth pastor.

That source?  Billy Graham.

In advance of what airs tomorrow night (Thursday, November 7th, 2014) as “My Hope America“, Graham has pre-released several smaller programs that present invitations to Christ.  I’ve only watched one, so it’s the one I’m recommending today.  But I’m sure there’s great content in many of the other programs, and the primary show being aired tomorrow evening.moment

My challenge to you as a parent is this:  If you’ve got kids….or grandkids….aged 11 or 12 or above??  Watch this together.  Watch it first yourself, and then think of what questions God might want you to ask, to connect to their hearts.  It’s a short program…only about 24 minutes.  Also plan on having at least a half hour afterward to talk about each of the 3 characters, and close in prayer together as a family.

This short video, combined with you communicating how important this moment is to your family…can be used by God to do something very important.  Both in connecting your heart with the hearts of your children, and especially connecting the heart of your family to the heart of God.

Simply put: This is an amazing youth group moment that I’m giving up – because I believe it was meant to be even more amazing in YOUR home.  Please, please please…..take it.  Whether you think your kids are doing fine….or you and your family have nothing to do with God….these are still important conversations to have.

“But what about the kids in our youth group without parents who will do this?”  I’m glad you asked.  As you put this night together, ask your kids/teens if they have friends who they’d want to invite to watch a short message from God with.  Or ask your youth pastor if there are any teens who’d benefit from coming to watch this with your familiy….I’ll bet they could offer a suggestion or two.

So there’s your assignment.  You can stream the video live from here.  Or you can download it quickly and easily and watch on your own/burn to DVD.  (Or ask your youth pastor to give it to you on DVD…I think he’s making a few copies…)

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screen time.

“when you have 1-year-olds playing Angry Birds and toddlers trying to swipe the TV screen because they think it’s an iPad … it’s a changing nature of childhood.” – Jim Steyer

An interesting study recently came out from “Common Sense Media”, on Childrens’ Media Use in American 2013.  There are some interesting findings throughout the study, although something very important to note is that the entire study is based on the parents’ response alone.  Imagine yourself as a young parent, who’s had a particularly rough week and may have stuck your kids in front of a tv screen way more than you intended; getting a survey from “Common Sense Media” asking you questions about your parenting techniques.  Of course you won’t confess to babysitting your kids with a television/iDevice.  In fact, the statistics will probably come out looking like this:timespentwithmedia

Now maybe it’s true that the average family can watch an entire DVD in 22 minutes, or that on average, families maximize a movie’s value/experience by dragging it out over several days.  But it seems like the information in this chart might be presented in a better way somehow.  It’s also possible that I’m just not very good at understanding charts of information.  But this next one is pretty easy to grasp.

What are the statistics of children aged 0-8 who have a television in their bedroom?  I figured the response here would be pretty low.  After all, most parents of kids aged 0-8 are my age, and had parents themselves who understood just how bad TV was for your eyesight alone, nevermind it’s ability to hypnotize you.  The results were surprising:tvinbedroom

The main reason?  “Frees up other TV’s so family members can watch their own shows.”

Wow.  I can understand the desire.  Some nights we enjoy a show that we don’t turn on until after the kids are in bed.  Even the popular “Once Upon a Time”, filled with princesses and knights….is quite a bit more than we want them viewing at this point.  Definitely, there are some nights where after bedtime prayer/story, we’re just too worn out to enjoy a show.  It’d be easier to start our show at 6pm, and let the kids enjoy their own show in their room.  But we feel like there are enough things/activities in our life already that make it hard to stay connected.  We don’t need to add something else.

The problem seems like it might be the denial that making choices like this even has any impact on the time a family spends together:

impactofmediaonfamilytime  Wait a minute.  A huge percentage of children under age 8 have televisions in their bedroom, and a large reason for it is so that the adults can watch their own shows….but 70% of parents think media either has no impact, or helps their family spend time together??

We didn’t even spend time above talking about tablets, iPods, smart phones, etc…even though these are all included in this charts view of “media”.

In the midst of all of this, God is calling followers of Christ to continue being people who know how to Sabbath.  To continue being people who understand the difference between creative entertainment, and idols.  To bear the fruit of the Spirit that includes “self-control”, for the sake of our families, and for the sake of bearing the image of God in a world that forgets His Face.  So what does that need to look like in your home?  Is this an “aha” moment where God leads you to new decisions?  Is this a “well done” to your home that handles the pressures of media well?

So what are some “policies” or “Family Rules” that you have in your home that help guide toward a healthy approach and relationship with each other and with media?

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Katy and the Content Creators

Recently I heard an interview on NPR with an artist whose words drew me in.  I’d missed them announcing who it was, so I tried to figure it out as I listened.  She joked innocently about how over-protective her childhood was, saying they even had to call the deviled eggs “Angel Eggs”.  She appreciated much of that upbringing though, even as the interviewer asked if she now created the kind of music she wasn’t allowed to listen to growing up.  I assumed that simply meant “pop-music”.  She sounded very creative, and even scorned the over-sexualization of most pop-artists these days.  She said she also had the “sex card”, but didn’t feel like it needed to be played.  As the interview closed, they said her name….Katy Perry.  Hmm, I thought to myself.  I’d heard her name before, but never really paid attention to what music she’s made.  Maybe I’ll check her out.

So the next day as I’m checking out youth ministry trends/updates, I get a link to a review of Katy Perry’s most recent album, “Prism”.  The review was not very kind, pointing out how over-sexed and under-faithful this album was.  prismHighlighting the carnal aspects, and the vague notions of Eastern spirituality she flaunts…there didn’t seem to be much redeemable content on the album.

I found myself wanting to pray that the artist I heard on NPR might someday come full circle, seeing the emptiness of a pleasure-seeking lifestyle, and create great art that had depth and wisdom.  As I check out the lyrics myself, I do have a bit more hope than the above review.  The song “ROAR” expresses frustrations with experiences of being “bound/held back/controlled” by someone else.  The song “Unconditionally” reveals a tender heart that wants to love and be loved in ways God has expressed His love for us.  Unfortunately through most of her songs, she tries to dull the pain through sex and party-life….but it’s obviously not fixing things.  The realities of a divorce come through loud in “Love Me“, and “By the Grace of God“.  She’s been hurt and broken by life, and is processing her pain loud, publicly, and through music.  In time, hopefully she’ll stop using pleasure as a band-aid and shed the songs that make her album hazardous.  Just Googling her name leads to plenty more interviews/appearances in pop culture that prove she’s not someone our young women can look up to just yet.

Now imagine that same “pop-star” problem, multiplied by the amount of people we have today creating content for the internet.

This problem used to be reserved for the influences of pop-culture.  A young star comes out, and creates music/content that praises sexuality and indulging “self” in pleasure.  We try to filter it, waiting to see if that artist ever “grows up”.

But today, the content creators are not just pop-stars.  They’re everyone.  Sharing on Instagram, Twitter, Vine, Facebook, Tumblr, Blogs, and more as new programs come out regularly.  Content is being created and shared at a rate no one can keep up with.  There is no filter big enough to keep out all the garbage flooding our feeds, except perhaps a power outage.  In the midst of it all, our youngest “content creators” are attaching huge personal value to the general public’s response to what they’re creating and sharing.  Expressing what they feel to be their deepest identities, frustrations, and being impacted to the point of suicide….it’s almost like every young person now faces the same issues that used to be reserved for child-stars in Hollywood.

We can pray, someday, that many of them come “full circle” to create content that is God-honoring, and contains wisdom and depth that contributes something beautiful.

Or we can do more.  We can help our children/young people to have their identity solidly grounded in Christ.  We can call our children to think critically about the “content” they’re creating/sharing, and pull the plug when necessary.  We can model for our young people what it looks like when someone uses their technology for a purpose larger than “self”.  We can have conversations about popular content, and help our young people to ask questions about why something might be “trending”, and if it’s worth it.

Because it’s not just artists like Katy Perry that are influencing and shaping the world of content any longer.  It’s everyone with an internet connection.  We cannot simply educate/guide our children to be good & faithful consumers….we must raise them to be faith-centered content-creators as well…