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difficult good news.

Posted on by Wick

It’s hard to believe that what is actually “good news”, can cause so much confusion and hurt.  Yesterday we received an update from our agency about the girl we were on our way to adopting.  The girl who’s mother they were told had passed away.  The girl who’s father even signed relinquishment papers declaring he could not care for her, and is letting go of that burden.  The girl we thought was going to become our daughter.

Her parents came to pick her up.

Just like that.  As if it was some long summer camp, or extended babysitter and now that season was over.  It’s a confusing place to be, because honestly we don’t know who to be upset with.  The parents obviously thought the orphanage was the only option for the survival of their child temporarily, and did what they had to do, in order to survive.  The orphanage responded based on the information they were given.  Our agency was acting in what they believed to be the best interest of a child they were told was an orphan, and a family who wanted to care for her.

And so, Francoise will continue to be named Francoise.  She’s with her parents now, as we would want her to be.  We’re so thankful for the rescue that has come to her life.  At the same time, we grieve.  We mourn the brokenness of a world where confusing situations like this can happen.  We are angry at the systems of oppression and corruption that have led to these moments.  We are exactly where we were before…waiting on God, and praying for Him to bring healing and redemption to the people of the DRC.

It’s hard to let go.  To find the pictures we had printed, the ones we’ve been looking at every night before bed.  The background image on my phone.  The picture we may have given or sent to you.  To tell our children, with smiles on our faces, that Francoise’s mommy and daddy were able to come bring her home, trying really hard to say it as good news.  Yet still offering to hold them – knowing somewhere in them is a sort of “letting go” as well.

If this all raises questions for you, welcome to where we are.  There’s a lot we don’t know, and much of it we won’t ever know.  We’ve shared what we can at this point.

It’s at this point where I would usually turn the corner, and offer a hope for what comes next.  A few words that clean up the mess I’ve talked about, and package it inspirationally.  I don’t have that this time.  I pray for Francoise and her parents as they begin a new life together.  I pray for the renewed search for a young girl who needs a family, and for our journey to raise what’s still needed to bring her home.  I pray for encouragement from God.  Please join us in praying.  Thanks.

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I love the VMA’s (here’s why)

Posted on by Wick

I missed out on all the VMA fun last night, thankfully.  We don’t have cable, and I wasn’t even aware it was happening, until I woke this morning to the twittermath.  (aftermath + twitter)  Apparently the producers of the show were a big fan of the recent movie “The Purge“, which I also haven’t seen thankfully.  It’s a movie based on the premise of allowing people freedom to do whatever they want with no legal consequences for a while, as a natural way to “purge” society of it’s “unwanted elements”.

Mtv_moon_manThat seems to have been the aim last night, as all sorts of madness hit the stage.  (Which apparently is nothing new, looking at a quick history of the VMA’s…there was never any promise of moral decency.)  Most of what I found about the VMA’s quickly, and rightly so, flagged the content filters we have on our internet.  But just in case they weren’t justified, I was able to read articles on a few news-sources.  Giant teddy-bear dancers surrounding a barely-clothed Miley Cyrus going to great lengths to prove she’s no longer a family-friendly Disney star?  A morbid Kanye West performance with more bleeps than an elevator ride up the Empire State Building?

It seems like something out of a really bad post-apocalyptic science fiction movie. I’m guessing there were other performances of the evening too, judging by the awards given, amount of time JT was on stage, and an NSYNC reunion.  Some of those might not have been horrible.

Unfortunately, the effect of these attention-getting acts is nothing close to a “Purge”.  In fact, the publicity these artists are getting for unbelievably horrible performances only seems to increase ticket and album sales.  I doubt anyone is still lamenting allowing their daughters to be “Hannah Montana” fans.  That innocence was lost years ago.  But I would definitley hope people are realizing that allowing “popular culture” to have influence on their children is much more hazardous to their health and morality than they realized.  And, well, we know what scripture tells us.

But before I come across as a completely cynical “Debbie Downer”, I want to offer a bit of hope.  There are amazing sources of role-models out there “off stage”.  There are women young and old who are caring for others, changing the world, and transforming lives.  There are men and women of all ages making incredibly beautiful art, and creative music that expresses hope, suffering, and other aspects of our humanity.  There are men both young and old who treat women with respect, and know how to use the English language enough to not be overly offensive.

One of the tasks we have as parents, is to give our children older role-models and relationships that will influence and inspire them into who they’re becoming.  This is a VERY important part of parenting, because if you leave this task unchecked…we see what our culture is offering them. Who is someone, either famous or famous-to-you, alive or from the past, that you are purposefully connecting the lives of your children to as they grow??

I’ll start with a quote by one of ours, Phoebe Palmer:

“I see the new creation rise, I hear the speaking blood;
It speaks, polluted nature dies, Sinks ‘neath the cleansing flood.”

Posted in Different Learning, Different Moments, Uncategorized

gym night.

Posted on by Wick

I have a confession to make – I’m a youth pastor who hasn’t been a big fan of “Gym Night”. The one night each month where I don’t get to talk in depth about scriptures, or spend time in small group conversation, or lead teens in extended moments of prayer.  The purpose is plain: invite your friends, reach out relationally, play together.

But God’s been reminding me of some important aspects of what “Gym Night” can offer.  In a world that increasingly treats our bodies as objects that we’re meant to/encouraged to shape and mold as we see fit.  Where pursuits of beauty and athletic ability make any pain and sacrifice worth the “gain”.  Where we’re encouraged to prove we’re not aging, and our young people are encouraged to prove they can ______ better than ________.bowling

There are very few, if any, places our young people (or older people) can go these days to simply have fun.  Places where it’s safe to fail, and you’re embraced as one who is beloved.  Youth group gym nights at their best can be a safe place for play to happen.  Often providing games/experiences that are either too unique or goofy for anyone to brag about their innate or developed skill at them.  (Sure, they’ll still try to brag they’re the best at smacking your feet with a pool noodle….but just stare at them and smile for a while….they’ll come down from the pedestal.)

In his book “Ethics of Hope”, Jurgen Moltmann reminds us: “People who feel that they are accepted and loved can also accept themselves and their bodies as they are, and as they become as time goes on.  The experience of the divine love makes the believer not only ‘just’ but also beautiful……The incarnation of God has really already given us a counterimage to the modern ‘human being as machine’ and to the artificial products of ‘performance’ and ‘beauty’.  God became human so that we might turn from being proud and unhappy gods into true human beings.”

This hits home also as a parent, watching my daughters learn to play games and dress-up.  They’re so talented and beautiful.  But not because they can do an amazing “grande jete'” or because they share a rich inheritence of physical beauty from their mother. (although both are true)  They are beautiful and valuable because they are loved by God.  To pursue beauty or value from any other source is to participate in a reality we don’t believe exists.  An economy already proven bankrupt in the broken and ugly crucified Christ.

So if you come to one of my gym nights, you’ll probably find more pool noodles, balloons, and nasty foods than basketballs.  If you visit my home you’ll probably find my daughters dressing up like Fancy Nancy more than Barbie.  And if you stick around either, you’ll find people who are learning how to exist genuinely as those Christ has called His “Beloved”…