Tag: love

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different kids.

Posted on by Wick

“He’s part of the smart and popular group.”  I heard a 5th grader describe his friend this past week.  Holy Smokes.  I don’t remember thinking about “popularity” in elementary school, although I’m sure it was there somewhere.  I remember coming to school and getting incredibly good at the art of twisting my hair so that it stood up without using any gel.  Throw a cape on my back, because I was super.

I remember some mornings, waiting out by the road for the bus to pick us up.  We’d easily get bored, and want to do something more fun.  I remember putting frogs in the mailbox for our postal worker to be surprised by.  (She wasn’t happy when she found baked frogs in the mailbox.  Ooops. Hot fall days.)  I remember playing Ninja Turtles. (I preferred Michaelangelo.)  I remember squatting down, pulling my coat down over my knees, while hobbling along the road trying to scare the cars driving by into thinking I was some sort of troll.  (Probably not the safest thing I’ve ever done along a highway.)

Looking back on who I was growing up, I think is part of the reason I was totally okay when we began our homeschooling journey.  Sure, a lot of homeschool kids can grow up a bit weird.  But look at me…public school kids can grow up pretty odd themselves.  My kids are certainly going to be unique in this world, scripture pretty much demands it.  But their uniqueness is not about simply wearing the moniker “Different”.  It’s so much bigger than that.

In fact, it’s too big to fit into an awesome sentence that I can make into bold text, and you can quote me on in some place that gets more internet traffic.  I want my kids to live authentic lives of experiencing all that God has created them for.  I fiveironfrenzypray over them daily that they would be filled with so much love, the world will be changed.  I believe it’s possible with all that I am (and the even more that I am not), and parent them that way.  Whether they go on to become missionaries in foreign lands, moms who raise the next generation to know the love of God, or a female-fronted version of Five Iron Frenzy.  In fact, if they could go on to become a female version of Five Iron Frenzy, at least for a little while, I’d be pretty excited.  One thing is for sure – they will be unique.  I pray they are unique even in the face of consumer-driven Christianity.  That they would ask questions, and push the envelope for how God’s Love can be shown, and how the Holiness of God can be lived.

So for now, we’ll continue to build the foundations of a life lived uniquely toward responding to God.  We aim to exercise those spiritual muscles on a regular basis.  To invite our children to respond to God with us on a regular basis.  To train them to listen to His voice.  To point out where some things in our world are broken, or don’t make sense.  To help their first reflex and knee-jerk reaction to be Love for God & others.  And above all of that, because we cannot guarantee what path they’ll take…..we pray.  God, use our family to make things different, as you are Different.  Amen.

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say the (specific) words.

Posted on by Wick

“The word ‘Love’, well it was once overused.  Back in the 70’s the word was abused. But I refuse to let love be diluted.  We can’t allow physical lust to intrude it.  Or pollute it cause their ain’t no excuse for the greatest gift of all to be abused.  So choose to lost the pride that may tug at you, don’t be afraid of the words ‘I love you’.”
– “Say the Words” by DC TALK

And so my teenage philosophy of being okay with the words “I love you” was formed.  Unfortunately, as with many young boys, I found it particularly effective in getting the attention of the opposite gender.  So many young people are afraid of “committing” to such a phrase, that for me to use it was effective in the few girls I was able to get the attention of growing up.  Until I met a woman who finally began to not be content with my version of love, but to teach me more about it.

As my wife and I dated, we’d have those sappy moments that young couples have.   We’d look deep into each others’ eyes over an well plated and overpriced en-tree (more realistically, over a plate of Strawberry Shortcake at Steak & Shake). Sometimes I wouldn’t know what to say that communicated my emotions well.  So I’d often opt for the old reliable…”I love you.”

This worked like magic the first few times, sure.  But then she did it.  She thwarted my plan for lifelong relational bliss forever.  She poked holes in my kite, and offered me a sailboat instead.  She did it all with a simple one-word question:

“Why?”sisters

She wasn’t asking a self-deprecating question about how I could possibly have feelings for her.   She knew I loved her.  She knew I cared for her.  But she wanted our relationship to plunge beneath the surface of Hallmark cards and Disney movies.  What was it about her that, in that moment particularly, compelled me to voice my emotions?

Fast forward 14 years, to me wanting to love and bless my children, and  I’m so grateful for a wife who took the time and difficult conversations to teach me about love.   To teach me how to be a better father.  As I held my daughter this past Sunday afternoon, I began simply by hugging her close and saying, “I love you, Ruby.”  But the question of “Why?” was still echoing through the halls of my heart.  So I began a list… “I love when you hug me.  I love when you share your smiles.  I love when you pray for Phoebe.  I love when you do silly dances.  I love how big your heart is.  I love when you do somersaults.  I love to hear you make up songs……”

I wasn’t even done listing why I loved her, when my 4 year old began to snore on my chest.  She was still lightly rubbing my face with her hand.  I pulled the blanket over her shoulders, and took a deep satisfied breath.  This parenting thing is pretty spectacular.

Maybe it’s your spouse.  Maybe it’s your child.  Whoever it might be, there’s a big chance that someone you love could realllllly use a reminder of “Why” you love them.  Not because they question it, but because they long for a Love that dives deep into meaningful emotions in a world that confuses the definition of love on a regular basis.   Who will you love today?

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smile (a reminder to pray)

Posted on by Wick

She looked up at me with a smile on her face.  I had a split second to convey soooo many messages.  “You are loved!  More than you know, and more than you  might be shown.  Your value is infinite, and there is a hope for your future beyond pretty dresses.  You’re not defined by your present situation, nor by the decisions of your parents.  You’re a child of God, creator of all things.  He has spoken a big fat “YES!” over whatever “no” your life situation might be whispering.  You have amazing capacities for good, for love, for becoming an incredible woman and changing the world.  There are arms that want to hold you, that will never let you go…and He is always with you.  Jesus loves you…”

But as her mom spewed obscenities into the video phone, having a conversation with the girls father who was in jail for what sounded like really good reasons…all I could do was bundle all of those thoughts into a smile.  A prayer, as I continued to wait for the person I was visiting to appear on my screen.videovisitation

I do this every week.

When I began, I felt like I was being stretched.  I was excited, after all there are so many places in scripture that tell us as Christ-followers to love and visit those who are in prison.  I was nervous, to begin visiting 2 who I’d never met.  They’ve received me well, and God has been in our conversations.  I hadn’t previously thought much about my purpose in that environment as a living prayer.  Nevertheless, it’s what those times become.

There’s always a line.  I pray for the loved ones buying phone cards, sitting and waiting for updates, verbally spouting all sorts of obscenities about their situation.  They’re so frustrated.  They’re confused.   They’re upset.  Usually it comes out in the direction of the woman who works the window.  There are 4 of these women, only one works at a time.  They have the patience of someone who knows the anger they receive is not really for them.   I pray for their strengthening.

The elevator door opens, and the next single parent walks in, holding a girl who shouldn’t be in places like this.  She gets yanked along by a mom who’s way too upset to think about much else.  But she’s obviously shown great care in getting this girl all ready for daddy to see her.  Braids tightly done, each decorated with it’s own colorful barret.  I smile at her, trying to offer her the facial expression that communicates, “It’s okay.  Life is so much bigger than this moment.”

I hear and see glimpses about each case.  I sit in my booth, waiting for the screen to turn on, and quietly pray for those in booths around me.  I hear a few positive words, it sounds like he compliments babygirls’ hair.  Then the conversation quickly changes to more weighty topics, and she’s left wondering what is being said over that phone.  I pray for her, by name if I’ve heard it.  So many broken lives.  So many children, not quite understanding why they can’t be held by daddy.

There are so many experiencing brokenness of a world impacted by sin.  These were sounds and images I was disconnected from a few years ago.  I believe one of the many reasons I’m there, is to speak about it.  To remind those of us who will hopefully never find ourselves in the waiting room of a county jail – pray.  Pray for the families in our city that shattered late last night.  Pray for the restoration and healing of the man who was released this morning.  Pray for the children who need to know they’re loved…

And when given the chance….smile at them. 🙂