Posted in Different Scriptures, Different Thoughts

healing our wounds.

Today I’m writing about a topic that many others have written much better on already. Yet, I still find some people have not heard of these things, and so I write in case I can help even one person hear a new perspective. I am husband to a woman responding to God’s call on her life for pastoral ministry, and I’ve benefitted from her ministry for over 20 years already. I am father to 4 daughters whom God has already spoken through, and who are all completely capable in responding to His Spirit as He empowers and calls them. I serve in a denomination that believes in an egalitarian approach to homes, the church, workplaces, and society. We do not believe men and women are the same in all things. Yet we believe our differences have nothing to do with what qualifies an individual for service in the Kingdom of God. In fact, our differences are often why it’s so important to invite both men and women into places that were for a long time (and in many places still) “off limits” to women.

In the book of Genesis, chapter 1:26-31, we see an egalitarian humanity from the beginning. “..in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” God blessed them (plural), and said “I have given you (plural)….”. (Yes, chapter 2 offers some distinctions in that creative process, but it reflects the incompleteness of male without female – not a hierarchal structure. Woman was created as a “helper” in 2:18, and that word is the same word used to describe God throughout the Old Testament, which obviously could not mean anything subservient to Man.) But humanity was tempted to turn from fully trusting in God’s provision to discover what they can provide/acquire on their own. This disconnect from trusting in Him as the source of our life and identity naturally brought separation and vulnerability – wounding our relationships with God, one another, and His creation. We see that multi-faceted impact illustrated in Genesis 3:16-19:

  1. Childbirth will be a painful process.
  2. Women will be ruled over by men.
  3. The ground will require intense work to become fruitful.

As these describe the impact of sin on our world, it should be no surprise that followers of Jesus (who came to set us free from sin and it’s impact) are interested in “undoing” these things. We’ve been reconciled to God, and so we join His Kingdom activity in our world today by the healing power of His Holy Spirit.

The first and last of things from this list aren’t usually debated as worth time and effort toward healing. No one declares the goodness of the pain involved in childbirth. Even those who are against medication usually seek practices that mitigate the pain involved. We have people who become doulas, OB’s, or pursue other avenues of serving/improving women’s health because this is an area of woundedness worth seeking to heal. Someone doesn’t even need to believe in God, to recognize childbirth is a painful process, and be motivated to alleviate that pain for themselves or others. Working to support childbirth becomes a process that restores the intended fruitfulness of humanity declared in Genesis 1:28.

We see a similar response to the cursing of the ground. No one declares the goodness of how difficult it can sometimes be to grow a crop fully to harvest. Farming techniques have been implemented for at least 12,000 years that sought to improve the fruitfulness of the soil. At least 4,000 years ago, farmers began rotating crops to improve soil and prevent pests or diseases. Here in Central Illinois, the University of Illinois continues new research in crop science, believing such improvements are good for all humanity. Someone doesn’t even need to believe in God to recognize improving soil and caring for the fruit-bearing nature of our planet is beneficial. Working to support such fruitfulness of the ground becomes a process that restores the intended fruitfulness of humanity declared in Genesis 1:28.

So what has happened in our response to the second impact of this list?

Even in my own life and ministry as someone who believes in an egalitarian approach, I confess my response was largely “I approve of it when it happens, and I’ll support it whenever I’m asked.” But such an approach should also be repented of, as I hope is made clear in the previous paragraphs, as falling short of pursuing healing for our woundedness. When my wife was going to give birth, we investigated methods of pain management and purposefully secured what was needed for her in those moments. As humanity, we aren’t content to plant whatever seeds we find and hope for the best crop. Our farmers work hard and pursue deeper understandings in order to promote a creation that yields more fruit with efficient use of labor.

In the same way then, we followers of Jesus should be those who purposefully seek opportunities to elevate the voices and positions of women. We should actively speak up whenever women are assumed to be inferior simply due to their gender – especially in our marriages, homes, and in places of service to God or His church. I know there are many (myself included) who were raised to believe men are created to inherently be the spiritualhead of the household“. Most who believe this, will still allow for women to serve in that role if the man fails or is idle in his God-given role. I remember hearing a preacher once say God “would even use a woman if He had to, if a man was not fulfilling his calling.” I can’t imagine such a low view of my wife, or my daughters. Paul does use the word “head“, but he also gives descriptions that turn that word upside-down culturally. I believe scripture (and my lived reality in married life) presents a strong case for two adults who constantly strive to serve, submit, and encourage one another to grow in their faith as any two believers would who share life intimately in covenant friendship/love. There is nothing about me biologically that gives me a unique ability to always emerge as “the primary voice” for what God desires or is doing in our home. In the body of Christ, it’s no longer about circumcision or any outwardly visible categories (Galatians 3:27-29). It’s about a heart submitted to Jesus, and living in mutual submission that reveals His Holy Love, and the egalitarian image of “iron sharpening iron”. (Proverbs 27:17)

We see this modeled in the early church, even in a heavily patriarchal culture. As I said, others have written on this far more extensively than I can here. What I wanted to accomplish here was to highlight the “why” behind it’s importance.

Because it’s not simply “a good thing to do”, or “a better perspective” when the choice falls in our lap. It’s worth pursuing and working toward! It’s actually a foundational way that we join the healing work of Jesus Christ in a world impacted by sin. It’s one of the ways we are faithful to the gospel. Someone doesn’t even need to believe in God to recognize improving the equality of women and men together is beneficial. Working to support such mutual submission of both genders to each other and to God becomes a process that restores the intended fruitfulness of humanity declared in Genesis 1:28.

As we do so, together in Jesus, we will continue rediscovering the “very good” of His desires for creation…

Posted in Different Scriptures, Spoken Word

Genesis 24:1-27

Way before there was Tinder
There were camels and rings of pure gold
Abraham wanted Isaac to marry
Because he was finally called “old”

But he didn’t want just anyone for daughter
It was important to honor the Lord
And care to shape a particular people
Shaped by God’s provision, not the sword.

A promise that many young men
Wish that God would be so on their side
To send an angel ahead of them
To help select the obvious bride.

Now we can let go of the gender
Patriarchal systems being of old
We find a quality here for bride or husband
That’s worth more than its weight in gold

Rebekah offered to serve
And give Abraham’s servant a drink
Then she offered to serve even further
Watering camels without having to think

It was in her nature to serve
A beautiful quality for a lover
For both man and woman to offer each other
The covenant to serve the other

Just as Christ served His bride
And for the Church gave His life
Such is revealed in Christ-centered love
A beacon amidst our worlds’ strife.

Posted in Uncategorized

another confession.

There’s something I need to confess.  Both personally, and professionally.  It’s happened more than once.  I’m not proud of it.  In fact, one of the reasons I’m putting it into words is to remind myself and others that it’s happened.  It may be happening even now.  I’ll give you a quick story to illustrate:

Once a week, the pastors & staff of our church gather to pray for the needs of our church.  These are “requests” submitted on the “Friendship Folders” found in every pew of our sanctuary.  On Sunday morning, our members do much more than simply let us know they’re sitting in the pew that morning.  Many of them take a moment to ask for specific prayers, and we respond by reading those, and praying.  It’s a really neat thing to be a part of, and I’m usually in awe of the faithfulness of some prayers, and the candid “specificness” of others.  This is usually the longest portion of our Wednesday staff meetings.

After this, we go through an “absentee” report.  This report looks at the attendence records of all our regular attenders, and compiles a list of anyone who has missed 3 times in a row.  That’s usually a sign that something might be happening, and we want to make sure we’re making contact with those we’ve not seen in a while.  Not because “you gotta get in church!!!”  But because we’re a family…and if someone in your family doesn’t show up for a meal-time on a regular basis, love compels you start to ask questions.

thumbsupThat’s when it usually happens.  We’re all reading through the list of names together, and someone asks about a name aloud.  “Does anyone know how ______ is doing?”  More than once, I’ve responded in that moment.  Not out of relationship.  Not out of conversation that you and I had, during which you told me about something going on in your life.  From where, then?  Usually, something I saw posted on social media.  It’s made me realize a truth I need to confess, not only to the attenders of our church, but my own friends and family:

I make claims to “How you are doing” based on information I picked up second-hand.

This is probably not all that big of a deal.  Many of us actually post things online, so that people we’re connected to will know what’s happening in our lives.  It’s kinda the point.  The danger comes, when experiencing “relationship” by way of “information” becomes the default way we begin to relate to those we care about.  Far too many people in our lives want to be truly “known”, and not simply “known about”.  From the most important relationship I have with any human being, my wife…all the way out to someone on the edges of my relationships: we want to be known.  (see Martin Buber’s “I and Thou” to realize this is not a new need)

It’s something many of us realized about God at some point.  To know about Him is not the same thing as knowing Him.  Yet here we are, many of us settling for that same level of relationship with those we care about.  It’s understandable that it happens, really.  With the amount of data that streams into our lives on a daily basis, we are sometimes doing well to even notice the relevant information on those we care about.

Now, I’m not about to “give up” the ability I have to “know about” what’s happening in the lives of so many people….by dumping social media altogether.  But I do think it’s important to remember: information is not relation.

So that’s my challenge for myself:  To have more one-on-one conversations.  To call someone on the phone, and ask how they’re doing.  To look at my spouse across the table, letting go of the “information” I have about what’s happening in her life and genuinely ask as if I don’t know how to answer, “How are you today?”  To let go of the pictures I may have seen of my children posted/sent during the day, and curiously ask them with a smile on my face, “How was your day today??”

What does the challenge look like for you??