Posted in Adoption Journey, Spoken Word, Uncategorized

a psalm for heavy hearts.

There is a stifling silence in carrying a burden, a weight so uncertain and hurting,
In search of a balm, we check the Psalms, and we learn that in turn,
these struggles that rock our home
Can become our megaphone.

Because it’s hard, and we’re not alone.
Our scars run deep, and to the bone. It seems like evil is on the throne,
runs the show, and even though we know there’s something greater,
it always seems like later – never now.
Never knowing how we’ll make it to tomorrow, but the sun comes up again.
And I guess that means we’re doing well, even though sometimes it just feels like we’re surviving.
For some, that’s the extent of thriving.

When driving rain comes faster than the wipers can clear a path.
The aftermath, sometimes silent, can come in violent waves unexpected
Of hope rejected, knowing sometimes there’s more dark before the dawn.
And if this was a song, it’d go on for sometime, before the key would change.
If an honest poem, more turning of the page, before the stage were reset,

The dim lights begin to raise, because there are better days ahead,
the field is not dead,
In fact, there is wheat growing among the weeds, some seeds of hope that cannot be rejected.
Knowing what’s expected, is not etched in stone, evil is not on the throne,

no matter how much sway it may seem to hold. Our whispers grow bold,
as we gather our broken bones, and cry out to the throne –
Lord Come. We need you.
Our arms are growing weary, and we need you.
Our eyes have grown bleary from the tears, over years and Lord we need you.
The blisters on our road-scarred feet scream for us to retreat, and we need you.
Our children look to us for answers we cannot provide,
and so with arms stretched wide we confide –Lord – we need you.

There is no other ear that even comes near to hearing our stifled voices,
choices all around us for ways to avoid this feeling of burden
A burden so certain and so heavy we want to find relief,
yet so infused to our hearts that we cannot put it down.

Not ever.

Clever words fail, and so we wet sail on uncharted waters
Praying the one who walks on water, the one who saves,
will be with us to calm the waves.

Lord, we need you.

Posted in Uncategorized

we dance.

It was Father’s Day – a pretty great one if I might add – and they’d each helped select a gift that would make me smile.  Addie got me a Detroit Redwings decal I could put on my new (to us, thanks to awesome friends!) car.  Sophie drew me a picture of myself, and put it in a nice small frame.  Even Phoebe got in on the action from Africa, and sent me a bowtie made out of African fabric.  Each of the girls helped answer questions in a small booklet, all about their daddy.  Apparently I’m a professional cuddler. (said in my best “King Julien” imitation voice)

All of the gifts were awesome, but one that instantly grew was from Ruby.  She helped select the soundtrack to the most recent Muppets movie.  Even though I’ve not seen it yet, the girls knew I’d be excited to experience anything new related to the Muppets.  This gift, of course, came with certain expectations.  We had all afternoon, as it was a Sunday.  No plans, and the girls knew that.  So what should we do?  9ojti

Open the soundtrack, play the music, and dance…of course. 🙂

Confession: We dance a lot in our house.  Two of our girls have had ballet lessons, but the 3rd daughter is the one who’ll convince you she’s had several years instruction.

We danced with them.  We watched them.  Their smiles, laughter, and movements were beautiful and lit up our living room.  This was the un-purchased gift that warmed a daddy’s heart on Father’s Day.

This is the activity we join together in, as we enjoy the gifts God has given us.  To dance and enjoy the goodness of His creation is not a denial of evil or suffering.   Yesterday morning, they were clearing a major area because of shots fired at a hotel.  A suicidal man was firing rounds into the air as many of us simply drove by on our way to work.  It was a morning that faced the harsh realization that our world includes suffering and brokenness.

But last night, over 80 people of varying ages and backgrounds gathered in our church gym.  We shared a meal, talking and telling stories.  We spilled drinks, and laughed as we cleaned up.  We sang songs, some goofy with motions and some straight out of the hymnal.  We told a story that had a 6 year old leading 70 year olds in making trumpet noises.  We confessed the painful truth that some of us have yet to see the response of God to prayers we’ve made for a long time.  We prayed.

Our lives as followers of Christ, are not denials of the evil in our world.  Our lives are powerful statements that even in a world where evil has made an impact, Jesus is Lord.  Even in a world where brokenness exists, beauty abounds even more.  In a world where wrong motivations and false Gods lead people astray – we invite people to dance with their Heavenly Father.

My kids are getting it.  One day at a time.  I think my church is getting it to.  I’m so proud and excited for the family, and church family, I get to dance with.