my place.

“..then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is; His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” – Romans 12:2b

I remember as a teenager, chasing the elusive knowledge of “what does God want for my life?” I see teens still chasing that answer today, along with the similar question “who does God want for my life?” in terms of close friendships or marriage. That senior year of college, when resumes are out, and calls are coming in about interviewing can be intimidating. Which direction to go? What call to respond to first? Where to interview? Does God have one path, or does he take joy in watching me choose the adventure for the most part?

Generally, I believe that to be the case. After all, in the “Garden of Eden”, there was only one tree that was forbidden. God offered a lot of choices for food, and probably took pleasure as His creation enjoyed what He had made. We’ve also heard the story of Jonah, where God wants Him to do one specific thing. When he doesn’t do it, God makes it pretty clear this wasn’t simply one choice of many.

But for all the anxieties of growing up, and taking tenuous steps into adulthood, there is a peaceful realization to be had. Now 30 years old, I know I am not immune to “unknowns”.  We live in an economy, and a world where it seems anything could happen to impact each of our lives. We step out on faith daily, as we drive to work, or take our kids to the mall, or eat food made by someone we’ve never met. 🙂

But no matter what changes tomorrow, I have some pretty large constants. My identity as a child of God, and my family.

I went yesterday to get donuts for my family (yup, I’m a hunter-gatherer), and when I came home my kids were still in my bed. They had crawled in very early in the morning, and I snuck out while they slept. As I looked at the bed, I sighed a giant breath of gratitude to all God has given me.  I could see exactly where I fit between them, and that space whispered to me gently, “You are a father.”

The moment didn’t last long, as they realized daddy was taking a picture.  The promise of a donut-shaped breakfast from the night before still ringing in their heads – their eyes lit up. We went to the dining room, where I revealed the spoils of a successful hunt.  I poured the milk, and took my chair right in the midst of them.  Here is my place.

Thanks God. 🙂