Posted in Different Moments

Why I No Longer Believe.

When I was growing up, it was all a lot easier. You kinda just followed the adults that were in your life. They “created” the way things were. No reason to ask questions. No reason to rock the boat. Nothing to question.

It became a pattern. It was a part of life on such a daily basis that I never really thought much about it. Day in, day out, it was almost like breathing or eating. Something you just do, not something to think about or analyze.

Then in youth group age even, I became blindly optimistic. I actually DID think about it, and still it made sense. Made sense to the point where I became passionate about it. I got to the point where I thought I knew what I was talking about. I told other people how THEY should think. I told my perspective and my thoughts simply because I couldn’t understand why anyone would ever think/believe differently. My youth pastor had given me a Wednesday night to speak to the group, and it was part of my entire message that night. Looking back, I’m sorry for those I neglected to love.

Then I went to college. It seemed to be a “free for all” there. Sure, you’d meet some people who would back up your beliefs, but over-all…who knew what anyone actually lived by. People in college just want you to know how cool they are without trying to be cool. How trendy or hip they are. There are some that would deny any belief in it just because belief of this type was thought to be “childish” or “unnecessary”.

Then I graduated college…and entered the “adult” world. The world where it seemed to matter less and less on a regular basis. Once in a while it would still come up. I’m a youth pastor, so you can imagine it would come up sometimes. But overall, on the regular grocery shopping, mall walking, movie watching kinda days…nothing.

Then I became a father. I looked forward to sharing this with my family. To talk with my daughters as they continued to grow and develop an understanding of the world around them. But recently something changed. Something happened. I had a 2 year old.

I no longer believe that toilet paper has to face towards you, coming up from closest to the wall. Because when you do this, 2 year olds can just swat the heck out of it, making the toilet paper spool completely onto the floor.

I guess it’s okay to turn the roll around. Sigh.



Husband, Father, Pastor, Missionary, Writer, Poet, Friend, reader, coffee enthusiast, hockey Wing-Nut, musical participator, etc...

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