It’s hard to believe that what is actually “good news”, can cause so much confusion and hurt. Yesterday we received an update from our agency about the girl we were on our way to adopting. The girl who’s mother they were told had passed away. The girl who’s father even signed relinquishment papers declaring he could not care for her, and is letting go of that burden. The girl we thought was going to become our daughter.
Her parents came to pick her up.
Just like that. As if it was some long summer camp, or extended babysitter and now that season was over. It’s a confusing place to be, because honestly we don’t know who to be upset with. The parents obviously thought the orphanage was the only option for the survival of their child temporarily, and did what they had to do, in order to survive. The orphanage responded based on the information they were given. Our agency was acting in what they believed to be the best interest of a child they were told was an orphan, and a family who wanted to care for her.
And so, Francoise will continue to be named Francoise. She’s with her parents now, as we would want her to be. We’re so thankful for the rescue that has come to her life. At the same time, we grieve. We mourn the brokenness of a world where confusing situations like this can happen. We are angry at the systems of oppression and corruption that have led to these moments. We are exactly where we were before…waiting on God, and praying for Him to bring healing and redemption to the people of the DRC.
It’s hard to let go. To find the pictures we had printed, the ones we’ve been looking at every night before bed. The background image on my phone. The picture we may have given or sent to you. To tell our children, with smiles on our faces, that Francoise’s mommy and daddy were able to come bring her home, trying really hard to say it as good news. Yet still offering to hold them – knowing somewhere in them is a sort of “letting go” as well.
If this all raises questions for you, welcome to where we are. There’s a lot we don’t know, and much of it we won’t ever know. We’ve shared what we can at this point.
It’s at this point where I would usually turn the corner, and offer a hope for what comes next. A few words that clean up the mess I’ve talked about, and package it inspirationally. I don’t have that this time. I pray for Francoise and her parents as they begin a new life together. I pray for the renewed search for a young girl who needs a family, and for our journey to raise what’s still needed to bring her home. I pray for encouragement from God. Please join us in praying. Thanks.
4 thoughts on “difficult good news.”
I think back on very difficult times, and realize in my head,, things will work out, as we are taught., and truly believe, , in a perfect/ Godly kind of way. But, I am at a loss for words just now,, as a Parent/Grandparent, to know what to say in your grief, and feel so sorry for this loss, and everything that surrounds it for your family, and ours. Praying you’ll be richly blessed ,, and your pain will be replaced soon, by new words offering heartfelt and inspirational delight. Love you all very much..!!
Well said, Sarah. Very touching post. I will be looking forward to hearing the rest of the story. HOpe you have a great vacation!