Posted in Different Moments, Different Thoughts

re-pacing.

I remember college life.  Staying up late talking to a certain someone until I’d lost the ability to connect my words with logical thought.  (We still joke about how one night, reeaaalllly late into a phone conversation, I asked her if she wanted her vegetables mashed.  It was time to sleep.)  Those same late nights were often followed by early mornings, jumping from class to class, connecting with as many people as I could because I was socially devouring each moment like the socially repressed awkward high schooler I was.  In the midst of chaotic college life, a few times a week, I would attend a class that stood out a bit from the others.

The professor began class, not by ringing a bell or hollering a cattle call.  He began with a prayer.  It was not usually a long prayer, at least if it’d been written out.   Usually it was only a few words long.  But the way it was prayed, gathered our souls in poignant silence.  I know I have friends who actually wrote down many of his prayers, even though he would probably laugh at such a thing.   It wasn’t about a gnostic search for meaning in mysterious short phrases.

It was.

About the power of words, and

Changing.

The pace.

Of our hearts and minds.

Toward Christ.

rubygolfI was reminded of those valuable transitions this morning as our 3 year old brought frustration to the table for breakfast.   We’d had a great morning already.  I started out with a jog (old school DC Talk!!) as we’re in the midst of “Couch 2 5k”.  Then I came home and helped get things ready for the day, helping the girls say “good morning” to our chickens, etc..while mom made breakfast.  I really needed to take the van in for a repair, but was delaying so I could sit with the family to eat.  Nevertheless, I kept glancing at the clock.  Finally we sat down to warm plates of eggs, bacon, and toast.  As we held hands around the table, I asked Ruby to pray for our meal.  So she began praying.

In this case, it wasn’t an incredibly soul-provoking pace of words.  But she prayed for so. Many.  Things.  Her prayer rambled on for quite sometime, including a prayer for our chickens…and finally I realized I was tense.  I need reminders like a 3 year old praying, to force me out of my tense need to control my daily schedule.  Moments that take power away from me, and invite me to experience a moment without anxiety over what else needs to happen.

Finally, even she forgot she was praying as her eyes began to wander around the room.  We lovingly encouraged her to close with a collective “Amen”, and the meal began.   Sure my eggs had lost some heat.  The fresh raspberry jam had made the bread a little soggy.  But the quieting, and slowing of my soul was a delicious moment I’m still thanking my 3 year old for.

May we find ourselves breathing slower in frustrating moments today…with a smile on our faces that comes from a thankful re-pacing of our day…

Posted in Uncategorized

five minute friday: friend

Here we go again with another “Five Minute Friday” post!  To learn more about “Five Minute Friday” (FMF), check out the linked image here.  Basically, each week there’s a word given for you to write about.  You start writing, no back-tracking, editing, etc.  At the end of 5 minutes, you stop.  Then you post it, and share in the community of words that were birthed during these 24-ish hours.  It’s cool stuff.
So here’s this week’s response to the word: “friend”.

It’s a word tossed out there casually, devalued thanks to being co-opted by Facebook and the like.  (A quick glimpse of my own Facebook will tell you that I have a few over 2,000 “friends”.)  But the word can really mean a wide range of things.  I have some great friends that Facebook helps me to stay in touch with…and it’s a great way to connect with each other.

But when I think of “friend”, several great memories come to mind.  I remember playing with Ninja Turtles through elementary school.  I remember attending YMCA camps growing up, and making a friend in only a week that I felt like I’d known a long time…and then letting them go when the week was over.   I remember a “sleep-over” birthday party in 5th grade at a friends house who lived on a farm.  We watched “Drop Dead Fred”, and jumped off bales of hay.

But one of my favorite memories of “friend” comes from a more difficult moment.   I remember hanging with “the guys” back in high school.  We’d just left Chuck E. Cheese’s, and there was a disagreement of some sort brewing within our group.  We were loading into a mini-van to head to the next “thing” that night, and finally we all realized we couldn’t keep pretending everything was okay.

The doors became locked.   Someone announced we weren’t leaving that van or parking spot until things were completely talked about.  The “air was cleared” (although actually, the air became very stuffy and the windows fogged up as we waited for the actual issue to surface.

It’s a reminder to me as a parent, for sure.  My daughters will have a lot of friends as they grow older.  Some will come and go in seasons.  Some will be there long term.   But no matter what, it’s important that I remind them friendships are not always about who plays nice with you, who likes you, and who you like being around 100% of the time.  It’s the person who will have difficult conversations with you.   The person who knows something better can be acheived, and challenges us that “something” should be reached for.

It’s definitely something we see modeled in Jesus Christ….

STOP.

So help me finish that thought….where did Jesus model the difficult but necessary roles of a good friend in scripture?

 

 

Posted in Adoption Journey, Different Moments, Different Thoughts

and so…

It’s been a while since I’ve posted an official “update”.  We have so many friends and family who have given, and are joining us in prayer – I felt like I wanted to post “something”.  So here it is:  we are still waiting.

It hasn’t always been easy, and there are still moments where it’s not.  But we’ve been reminded through it all – sometimes it’s okay to wait.  Just like the blog I posted earlier this week, sometimes it’s good for us to remember that in the midst of ugly suffering – there is something beautiful and precious happening.  We can hope and pray that something along those lines is happening here.

8668379016_09631c718a_hWhether it’s the fact that our daughter is having a few more days with her birth family; or simply that God knows I haven’t quite released my desire to “do it on my own strength” yet….or possibly even just because it just hasn’t happened yet.  We continue to receive a peace about where we are at this point.  Waiting.  Trusting.  Breathing slowly.  Knowing that God’s activity is not contained only in the act of bringing home our daughter….these moments are formative, prayer-inducing, and Spirit-relying.  After all, “patience” is just one bit of the Fruit of the Spirit….right?

Pratically – we’re at the top of the list still.  We’ve had more than one occasion where we received the offer of a referral that almost met the requirements we’ve been approved for.  In each case, there has been a difficult moment of prayer, and incredible experiences of desperation before a God who we want to love – and who Loves these children.  It’s not easy to release a child/children who really needs a family, but we know there are several incredible families on the list after ours – many who are better set-up or shaped to receive these.

So for now, we continue to pray.  We check our e-mail about once an hour (at least).  We pray some more.  We try to figure out how to raise a few more bucks (only about $10,000 left to go, if you wanna give just click here!).  We talk about what God is doing, and look forward to how our family will grow….in so many ways.

And not forget that we have 3 daughters at home who are being transformed by being a part of our family as well.  Their little hearts are bursting with Love, even in the moments it may not be 100% transparent.  They get so excited to realize that by living from love – they are changing the world.  The WORLD.  They pray for Phoebe, and can’t wait to meet her.

Someday soon, we will move forward.  Until then..we continue to grow and be changed….