Author: Wick

Vicki was going to speak on “Reaching Families without Sacrificing Spiritual Orphans in Youth Ministry”, or at least that was the suggested title within the notebook we were all given to contain our scribblings.  As to the topic, I think she touched on it here and there.

What it felt more like was a session titled, “Here are some really good points, with some compelling filler from a woman who cares a lot.”  🙂

The points were all over the map:

 – She read from the now-very-popular and often-linked story from CNN about the massive amounts of teenagers who “fake” being a Christian due to the life situations they find themselves in….but as they grow find other interests.  Some good stuff there, I’d recommend it to all parents, for sure.

 – She commented on how ridiculous amounts of parenting books exist for expecting parents, parents of newborns…etc.  They are among the top sellers nationwide.  But the list of parenting books for discipling teenagers, and young adults?  Very few.  And even fewer the parents who take advantage of such resources.

 – At one point, she read some “Letters to the Editor” from “Seventeen Magazine” from the mid-1940’s.  Surprising to hear parents thank the publication for their fine attention to moral standards, and for being such a positive influence on young women.  I don’t suppose they receive too many of those messages these days.

 – Courtney emphasized 3 common parental traits among youth raised in the church who leave religion:
          1.  Parents model something OTHER than the Love of God as their primary affection.
          2. Parents fail to acknowledge their role as the primary discipler of their child.
          3. Parents/leaders can often focus more on behavior modification than heart inhabitation.

As she moved toward closing, she reminded the audience that her words were not meant only for parents of children/teens, and youth pastors.  That being “primary source” of discipling doesn’t end when they move out of the house.  Sure, it’ll take on different forms, but at no point in the life do we find ourselves smacking our left knee saying, “I messed up.”

I like that.  And it’s a good reminder/Hope for parents who hear all of this late in the child’s life…you’re not done!  Encourage them into relationship with other Godly adults, and seek to live toward Christ and His bride yourself.  And pray….pray…..pray. 🙂

K, I know…I spelled “official” wrong.  I figured it was an appropriate way to begin a post about myself.   There’s a car dealership across from an intersection I sit at often.  It was painted “It’s Offical, We’ve Moved!” like 4 years ago on the glass…and since no one has purchased the old dealership yet….it’s remained misspelled indefinitely.  Someday that window will be broken by vandals.  And I will smile.

Speaking of me smiling, I absolutely had to share about how ridiculously cute my children are with two brief stories to encourage you today:

This past Sunday, after being gone 5 days to a conference in Dallas, I was at the breakfast table with my girls before church.  Sarah had made some homemade apple muffins that morning, and they were just about ready to eat.  Just then, Addie dramatically put her hand on her side/belly, and said, “My tummy hurts…”  To which Sarah and I, not really worried but wanting her to know we love her…asked her why her tummy hurt, and if she was just hungry for breakfast.  But before Addie could reply, a voice came from across the table…Sophie wasn’t waiting to hear anything:

“Dear God, please help Addie’s tummy to feel better. Aaaaa-Mennn!!  (then turning to Addie)  Now your tummy don’t hurt anymore!!”

Which would be the cutest event this week, until Childrens’ Church.  I went with Addie, because as a 4 year old, she still wasn’t quite comfortable being left alone in a new class of older kids.  So we sat/listened together.  They talked about Jesus “paying the price” for our sin, and enacted a scene to illustrate.  Each child stood before the “Judge” (a nice older lady, who couldn’t help but smile as she pretended) and read a card handed to them.  The card told them what they were guilty of (bad words, stealing, etc.), and the judge told them how much they owed.  No one could pay, so all had to head to the “Jail” (row of chairs), from which Jesus rescued them all later on.

Addie and I were last.  I didn’t know how she’d respond, but figured it was good to find out anyway.  We walked up to the judge and were handed our card.  “Lying to your parents” was our offense.  I looked at Addie with a wink to let her know we were just pretending and said, “Uh oh Addie, we lied to our parents.”

It didn’t take long for the fun smile to leave her face and her eyes to get larger.  But instead of the tears I thought may come from such an accusation, she didn’t miss a beat before defending herself: “No I didn’t, dad, it was Sophie!!”

Needless to say, me and the judge were cracking up. 🙂 

I love my girls. 🙂

The reason cited for so many young adults who are leaving the church?  Hypocrisy.  Not even simply Christians who go out and “do something bad”.  But Christians who talk about a life of faith, and experience of God on Sunday, and live like the rest of the world throughout the week.

Mark Holmen has written books, and spoken/ministered for years on the topics of faith development/growth at home.  Pretty solid stuff here.  He brought out a great question for us to be thinking/praying about:

“How do we equip the home to be the primary place faith is lived, expressed, and nurtured, using existing ministry structures?”

One thing they talked about over and over so far in this conference was this:  Being a church that partners with what God desires of our church’s homes doesn’t mean simply hiring someone with the title “Family Pastor”.  Or even tagging “Family Ministries” onto another job description of an assistance pastor.

In fact, he discouraged using the word “Family” in whatever we go back and do.  For several years, his church tried a new “Family” initiative, and got very little buy in.  They realized saying that, isolated and turned away people who didn’t view themselves as needing family development (i.e. usually view that as “young married with small children”).  So they changed to “FAITH AT HOME”, and are still continuing to grow in response.  Everyone has a home, and everyone is a part of a family, especially the family of God.

Such a thing doesn’t come from a new ministry, but a new set of ministry “lenses” that goes across the entire gamut of what we are involved in.  It generally will take 5-10 years to see a large change occur, often even a full generation.  We must build and grow on successes/health.

He gave 3 important “Next Steps” for what to do:
1. Personal Evaluation & Change – What do I need to do?
2. Your Ministry Evaluation & Change – What can I do there?
3. Your Church Strategy Evaluation & Change

So here we go….