Category: Uncategorized

Posted in Uncategorized

risqué blog title.

Posted on by Wick

This is where I tease you a bit, making you wonder if the blog I’ve written truly says what you think it might.  It piqued your interest just enough, and the image that came with it connected with something you’ve either experienced, or recently heard about.  It’s probably pretty important.  Or something so excruciatingly vital, you’re not sure how you lived without such knowledge.  This is where you begin to wonder if perhaps I’ve tricked you into reading something you completely agreed with already.  This is where I drag one point out just a little too long, possibly throwing in a vague quote by an author you might perceive as inflammatory.  But not inflammatory enough to make you stop reading.  Possibly even….educational?  Inspirational?

This sentence, right here.  Rather, this one, is just edgy enough to make you gasp audibly.  As this happens, you wonder if now would be a good time to “share” the article so that you’ll be the first among your friends to do so.  You decide to read a bit more first, playing it safe.  After all, we all remember that one time you “shared” that one article that didn’t exactly say what you thought it did at first glance.  As it turns out, playing it safe was a good move, because you seriously begin to wonder if this article says much of anything beyond what you already believed.  But then, it happens.fishbowel

Like. Never. Before.

Yup, I pull a twist of the English language and revelatory emotion that makes you jump 10 feet out of your literary comfort zone.  But now you’re too hooked to even think about leaving my site to share it with your friends.  Yet.  Of course, it’s still there in the back of your mind.  And “liking” it, of course.  But now you’re diving deep into my words, my powerful prose has captured your imagination, and begun to even tug at your heart.  You wonder why you haven’t put these words together like this before….once it’s written, it seems so incredibly obvious.  But then again, it wasn’t obvious, was it?  Your friends are going to love this post.  This deserves to be read by everyone who really “gets” what you’re thinking about lately.  Or should, at least.  But wait…there’s one more thing to do.

You click the “comment” button.  Because you know many of your friends will end up reading/commenting/sharing this article as well.  You want them to see that you’ve taken the time to let these words simmer in the  midst of your day, and offer a slight contribution to the article.  Nothing trollish, but nothing as simple as a verbal “nod of the head” either.  Something with weight, but nothing that’s going to blow up your feed with responses.   As you sit there pondering, blank ready to be filled, you realize how much pressure you feel in this moment.  You decide the value of your time is much more than the value from one comment. After all, people will all post their responses on your facebook anyway…not here.

So you quietly let go of the need to post a contributional comment.  You copy the URL at the top, and click over to your social network of choice.  Posting a quick update, you announce to all who might follow your activities, “I’ve read this, and think it was worth sharing.” Instantly, 30% of your friends feel the tug on their moment and think to themselves “Whoa…I should probably check that out.”  Some of them will.  A new conversation will begin on your social network of choice that adds local and intimate flavor to the topic.

I will smile.  Thanks for reading.  🙂

Posted in Adoption Journey, Uncategorized

Adoption and Men…

Posted on by Wick

When entering the “world” of adoption conversations, especially when you connect to a blog/Facebook group/other online conversation, you’ll quickly notice the primary voices are women.  Certainly God uses “a mothers heart” in many cases, and speaks into a family through the bride.  In other times, it might be the “fathers heart” that He uses to tug toward adoption.  But even in cases where the couple is equally engaged/pulled toward reaching out to the orphan, most often it seems the mother is the one “out there” with the topic, connecting with others and having conversations about the process.  There are a few reasons that stand out as to why this may be happening:

1. Adoption involves a lot of emotion.  Like, gobbs.  The waiting, the picture updates, how far away this child is from you physically, etc.  And as we all know, emotions are for women.  (tongue in cheek)  Even as young boys, men are trained to have Jedi-like control over their emotions.  When someone is being “emotional”, we instantly feel they’re not being “manly”…whatever that might mean.  So even though a man may feel it, they’ll probably keep most of it to themselves.  There’s also a big chance, that even though they care deeply about what’s happening, they don’t have theimage words or the need to put into words all they’re feeling.   That’s because…

2. Men easily compartmentalize.  “The amygdala is a part of the brain that controls our emotional responses. In men, the amygdala communicates with just a few parts of the brain, like the visual cortex and part of the brain responsible for movement. (source: Lloyd) It’s like the amygdala is a power strip, and men have just one appliance plugged in. In comparison, a woman’s power strip is fueling many different appliances. In women, the amygdala is more connected to parts of the brain that control language, which may be why women talk about their feelings. It’s also linked to parts of the brain that control bodily functions like heart rate, blood pressure and digestion, which may be why women get a stomachache or other bodily response when they’re stressed or worried. In comparison, men seem to compartmentalize and show no outward display of emotion. But men still experience all the same emotions that women do, they just don’t cope with them in the same way.” (stolen from a science-ish website)

3. Adoption is much more emasculating than men realize when they “sign up” for it.  It’s sounds like the great plot for a manly story.  “Man helps his family reach out to the other side of the world, where a young child is in need of rescue, he helps bring them home and increases the size and heart of his own family (Christians add here “in the name of Jesus”).”  It’s totally a “knight in shining armor” type thing.  But then the journey actually begins.  He realizes he doesn’t have the finances to do it alone, and has to go around asking others to help.  He’s told by the agency “All of those natural fatherly desires you have to go and do whatever it takes to help your case move forward and bring your child home?  Let ’em go.  We represent you, and it’s in the best interest of everyone for you to let us do so.”  It’s probably true.  With the amount of extortion and corruption trying to seep into international adoptions, it’s really good to have people with experience and dedication to what’s best for the nation and children.

With these elements, and many more being thrown into the mix…our responses are important:

Wives – Understand the differences about how this adoption process impacts you and your husband.  Offer grace when he doesn’t seem geeked out about gushing his adoptive emotions over coffee.  Love him by asking specific questions, give him time to respond…and don’t expect a book.  Pray with him.  Help him connect whatever part of the process you’re in to his manly quest.  Sure, he may not be able to ride over there on a horse and scoop up your child – but he can certainly put on his shining armor and head out to the fingerprints office.  Be thankful that he can breathe slow and steady when you feel all out of sorts, and how God’s heart is reflected in such steadiness.

Husbands – Understand the differences about how this adoption process impacts you and your wife.  Offer grace when it seems she’s carrying a giant heavy burden…because she is.  When seemingly out of nowhere, she tells you how hard it is to endure all of this, and wonders if you even care.  This is your chance to be as manly as you were hoping you could be.  Not by rescuing your child just yet…but by scooping up your wife.  Reassure her.  Pray with her.  Use that focused amygdala to your advantage, and let her cry on your shoulder.  Dig deep into the compartment of adoption emotions and try to communicate what you’re feeling to her.  Be thankful for the depths of her emotions, and see how Gods’ heart is reflected in their mystery and force.

Posted in Uncategorized

Winter Retreat

Posted on by Wick

Over 130 senior high students and leaders from many different churches all over Illinois came together at Durley Retreat Center in Greenville, Illinois for our annual retreat, “Frostbite”.  Our speaker, Zach Fleming, reminded us that God has one identity, and it’s found in scripture – not often in humanity’s created versions.  He also challenged students to be more aware of the power their words carry, to wait on God’s timing, and to be filled by an indwelling of God’s Holy Spirit in order to “run as if to win the prize”.  Worship was led by the very talented & humble “Pursuit” from Greenville College.

So here are a few responses from actual teenagers about this past weekend:   This year from Frostbite:

God told me to be patient, our speaker reminded me to come to God for rest, and I will be praying for slavery to end.

God gave me rest, our speaker reminded me to choose my words carefully and to delve deeper into my relationship with God & His Word. I really enjoyed free time to spend with friends I haven’t seen in a while. There weren’t enough cleaning jobs for all the people on the final day. I’ll be praying for God’s will in a more “near-future” way, instead of “___ years from now”.

God helped my priorities, our speaker taught me that what God’s plan is, is the best. I really enjoyed the cabin time, and being able to talk in small groups.

God gave me good reminders for daily life. I enjoyed everything, and I’m praying for patience.

God taught me about change. I learned there are different versions of God out there that aren’t right. I really enjoyed small group because we were able to talk more in-depth about God. I’m praying for change.

God helped me to think about changing. I learned from the speaker that the best things come slowly. I really enjoyed fbite2014fear factor. I’m praying to change how I study.

God showed me I need to be more patient and think before I speak. I really enjoyed the speakers entertaining style of speaking. The food was really good. We should play soccer instead of football. I’m praying to have patience.

God helped me know him better. One of my favorite things was Fear Factor. They should fix the air conditioning in cabin 12 – we can’t sleep. I’m praying for them to fix it.

God helped me through tough times and helped me cope with things. Our speaker taught me how board games relate to life. I really enjoyed meeting new people, and Frostbite got my mind off a lot of things and I had a good time. Fix cabin 12’s air conditioner. I’m praying that the air conditioner works and my house has a heater.

God introduced me to new awesome people. I learned many new things. The food was so dang yummy. Fix Cabin 12’s air thingy. I’m praying for people forced into slavery.

(leader) God gave me a cabin of girls to remind me of young people pursuing him and this encouraged me on the faith journey. I was reminded why we wait on God’s timing, gossip is hurtful to the soul, and Jesus can be trusted. I really enjoyed “scrambling” seating arrangements at lunch Saturday, because it set the pace for the rest of the weekend to get everyone together playing games and chatting. Maybe we should have 1 more seminar, so 3 instead of 2? I’m praying that the teens will continue to hunger after God and I’ll be an example of that in their lives.

God was here. I learned to hold my tongue. The food was good. Don’t do the Fear Factor egg thing. I’m praying for rest.

God was always around. I learned about games and how some aren’t good. One of my favorite things was meeting/catching up with people. The 1st round of Fear Factor should not involve using our lungs. I’m praying for the slaves.

God showed me some new friends. I learned that there are things out there that threaten my Christianity. One of my favorite things was Frostbite Idol, because I finally overcame my fear of performing in front of a large crowd in a competition. Fix cabin 12’s air conditioner! I’m praying for all the children that are being kidnapped and sold into slavery.

God spoke to me by helping me to realize I need to be more careful about gossip. I learned about bad gossipers. I really enjoyed playing with friends. I wouldn’t change anything. I’m praying for everyone.

God decided we shouldn’t sleep because our air conditioner/heater is broken. I determined that God is testing my resistance to the cold – I’m losing. My favorite thing was not the heater, because it was annoying and smelly. It should be fixed. I’m praying for it.

God taught me a lot. About the McDevil and how we are like that, and all the games connecting to our life situation. I’m going to try to change. One of my favorite things was meeting new friends, because it helps me get closer to God. I think Fear Factor should be grosser. I’m praying for people that are going the wrong direction.

God told me to relax, change, and think about my priorities. I learned about food and scrabble. One of my favorite things was skating on the ice because it was fun. I would add “towels” to the packing checklist. I’m praying for those who I do not get along with.