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smile (a reminder to pray)

Posted on by Wick

She looked up at me with a smile on her face.  I had a split second to convey soooo many messages.  “You are loved!  More than you know, and more than you  might be shown.  Your value is infinite, and there is a hope for your future beyond pretty dresses.  You’re not defined by your present situation, nor by the decisions of your parents.  You’re a child of God, creator of all things.  He has spoken a big fat “YES!” over whatever “no” your life situation might be whispering.  You have amazing capacities for good, for love, for becoming an incredible woman and changing the world.  There are arms that want to hold you, that will never let you go…and He is always with you.  Jesus loves you…”

But as her mom spewed obscenities into the video phone, having a conversation with the girls father who was in jail for what sounded like really good reasons…all I could do was bundle all of those thoughts into a smile.  A prayer, as I continued to wait for the person I was visiting to appear on my screen.videovisitation

I do this every week.

When I began, I felt like I was being stretched.  I was excited, after all there are so many places in scripture that tell us as Christ-followers to love and visit those who are in prison.  I was nervous, to begin visiting 2 who I’d never met.  They’ve received me well, and God has been in our conversations.  I hadn’t previously thought much about my purpose in that environment as a living prayer.  Nevertheless, it’s what those times become.

There’s always a line.  I pray for the loved ones buying phone cards, sitting and waiting for updates, verbally spouting all sorts of obscenities about their situation.  They’re so frustrated.  They’re confused.   They’re upset.  Usually it comes out in the direction of the woman who works the window.  There are 4 of these women, only one works at a time.  They have the patience of someone who knows the anger they receive is not really for them.   I pray for their strengthening.

The elevator door opens, and the next single parent walks in, holding a girl who shouldn’t be in places like this.  She gets yanked along by a mom who’s way too upset to think about much else.  But she’s obviously shown great care in getting this girl all ready for daddy to see her.  Braids tightly done, each decorated with it’s own colorful barret.  I smile at her, trying to offer her the facial expression that communicates, “It’s okay.  Life is so much bigger than this moment.”

I hear and see glimpses about each case.  I sit in my booth, waiting for the screen to turn on, and quietly pray for those in booths around me.  I hear a few positive words, it sounds like he compliments babygirls’ hair.  Then the conversation quickly changes to more weighty topics, and she’s left wondering what is being said over that phone.  I pray for her, by name if I’ve heard it.  So many broken lives.  So many children, not quite understanding why they can’t be held by daddy.

There are so many experiencing brokenness of a world impacted by sin.  These were sounds and images I was disconnected from a few years ago.  I believe one of the many reasons I’m there, is to speak about it.  To remind those of us who will hopefully never find ourselves in the waiting room of a county jail – pray.  Pray for the families in our city that shattered late last night.  Pray for the restoration and healing of the man who was released this morning.  Pray for the children who need to know they’re loved…

And when given the chance….smile at them. 🙂

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campin’

Posted on by Wick

Last week we took the family “tent-camping” at Warren Dunes State Campground, just over the south-western border into Michigan.  I grew up visiting those dunes, and frequently took trips even in college.  It was a special trip I’d been wanting to make with our girls for quite sometime.  Here are a few highlights:

campin1. Conquered the Rain-Fly.  Seriously, we all know the number one pain of all tent-camping is getting the tent to fit back in the bag.  The number two pain?  Figuring out the rain fly.  I patted myself on the back every time I looked at our tent those 3 days.  Even hung some Christmas lights.

2. I let my wife plan meals.  That means, instead of eating Pop-tarts for breakfast and raw Ramen for dinner…we had “hobo dinners” and scrambled eggs/sausage.  Sure, it meant bringing quite a few more supplies than I would’ve packed.  But my mouth and stomach weren’t complaining.  You’ve had S’mores; but have you had a roasted banana filled with peanut butter, chocolate, marshmallow, and sprinkled with crushed Golden Grahams?  Also, if you’ve done the “meat/cheese/potato/onion/carrot” thing for hobo dinners…next time try “polish sausage/sauerkraut/carrots/potatoes”.  It was crazy good.

3. Sunscreen works, everywhere you apply it.  We spent most of Friday at the beach, with me in the water.  You could see visibly where my hands couldn’t reach on my back….bright red.   My 5 year old said, “Dad, next time I’ll put it on your back.”  And on Labor Day….she did.  Gently…daddy still hurts.  Thankfully our girls have mommy’s skin.

1269373_10151572183671339_365288859_o4. Disney Movies happen every day.  I climbed a giant sand dune with my two oldest daughters.  When we reached the top and looked back, mommy was staying with Ruby about halfway up.  At 4 years old (daughter, not mom), she was struggling hard..naturally.  They were going to turn back and wait for us at the bottom, but I wanted the family to enjoy the top together.  So I ran halfway down, put our daughter on my sunburned back, and hiked her up the rest of the dune on my hands and knees.  The cross-country team gathered at the top began applauding, and I heard inspirational music in the background as I carried her all the way up.  I’m pretty sure I injured something, and completely sure the picture was worth it.

5. Sleeping outside can surprise you.  There were definitely raccoons that waited for our site to get dark each night.  We heard them explore our picnic table after we went to bed.  We took turns having knee-jerk reactions to what we thought was 1167669_10151572184541339_2050085235_oan animal in our tent at 2am…both times smiling at how silly we were reacting to a clingy little girl sleeping next to us.  It’s great being “alone” with my wife in a world of little people camping.  So many things that brought smiles to our faces…I love sharing life with this woman!! 🙂

6.  God’s Creation sure is good.  We sat on a blanket as the sun began to lower, reading a kids book on sand and how it’s made.  We climbed giant dunes, and looked out over miles of forest one direction, and miles of lake the other.  We hiked through thick woods to use the restroom, each time stumbling as a daughter would pause the world to appreciate the beauty of a fallen leaf’s colors.  I held a giant inflated tube as it coasted over small faef33f2128411e3af571231390ef217_7lake waves, as my 4 year old daughter soaked up the sun, falling asleep far away from shore – simply because she trusted her father.  Our girls oooh’d and ahhhh’d over hundreds of rocks, as we searched for petoskey stones, reminding me that God’s beauty is in so much more than we’re looking for…

Oh yeah, and this happened on our way home…

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difficult good news.

Posted on by Wick

It’s hard to believe that what is actually “good news”, can cause so much confusion and hurt.  Yesterday we received an update from our agency about the girl we were on our way to adopting.  The girl who’s mother they were told had passed away.  The girl who’s father even signed relinquishment papers declaring he could not care for her, and is letting go of that burden.  The girl we thought was going to become our daughter.

Her parents came to pick her up.

Just like that.  As if it was some long summer camp, or extended babysitter and now that season was over.  It’s a confusing place to be, because honestly we don’t know who to be upset with.  The parents obviously thought the orphanage was the only option for the survival of their child temporarily, and did what they had to do, in order to survive.  The orphanage responded based on the information they were given.  Our agency was acting in what they believed to be the best interest of a child they were told was an orphan, and a family who wanted to care for her.

And so, Francoise will continue to be named Francoise.  She’s with her parents now, as we would want her to be.  We’re so thankful for the rescue that has come to her life.  At the same time, we grieve.  We mourn the brokenness of a world where confusing situations like this can happen.  We are angry at the systems of oppression and corruption that have led to these moments.  We are exactly where we were before…waiting on God, and praying for Him to bring healing and redemption to the people of the DRC.

It’s hard to let go.  To find the pictures we had printed, the ones we’ve been looking at every night before bed.  The background image on my phone.  The picture we may have given or sent to you.  To tell our children, with smiles on our faces, that Francoise’s mommy and daddy were able to come bring her home, trying really hard to say it as good news.  Yet still offering to hold them – knowing somewhere in them is a sort of “letting go” as well.

If this all raises questions for you, welcome to where we are.  There’s a lot we don’t know, and much of it we won’t ever know.  We’ve shared what we can at this point.

It’s at this point where I would usually turn the corner, and offer a hope for what comes next.  A few words that clean up the mess I’ve talked about, and package it inspirationally.  I don’t have that this time.  I pray for Francoise and her parents as they begin a new life together.  I pray for the renewed search for a young girl who needs a family, and for our journey to raise what’s still needed to bring her home.  I pray for encouragement from God.  Please join us in praying.  Thanks.