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We began this process well over a year ago, believing God had called us to reach out in His love to bring home a child who needed a family/home.  It’s amazing how many ups and downs and transformations you can experience simply being in the process of waiting for something to happen.  In the beginning, we connected with a great, non-profit organization that is doing wonderful work in the DRC.  But because of their size, and relatively few children they connect with, we were becoming discouraged with the wait.  They continued to tell us it could be 6-12 months until we even connected with a child.  We came before God in prayer often, frustrated…feeling like we were still following Him, growing a heart for the DRC, and waiting.

Finally a couple weeks ago, the feelings of unrest began to stir again.  They were much more powerful this time, until we literally heard the whisper from God, urging a change.  We’d been connecting with the story of a newer agency, one that’s been working in the DRC for a long time but only recently began adoptions.  One very committed, and working with the embassy to ensure ethical adoption practices for the country.  Because it’s an actual “Agency”, the price went up a bit….because their employees actually get paid.  But we felt God’s “Yes” in moving forward, and sent in our application.  We were told it could be 1-3 months until we are connected with a child.

The very NEXT DAY we received word of a referral!!  We couldn’t officially respond yet, because it didn’t include her medical information, but they were going to do that right away.  It’s so hard to know/explain what feelings there are at these moments.  When my wife said, “I’m pregnant”! all 3 times, we had nothing to look at but each other.  We could imagine our child developing, but knew we had to be patient to see them.  With this…she’s 1 year old.  We see her picture already.  She is smiling, and we’re missing it.  She’s crying, and we’re not there.  She’s being held….and we’re thankful…but we want to hold her.

It’s going to be a long year.

Just yesterday, her medical information came in.  She’s very healthy, disease tests came back negative, and she had a “bon apgar”. 🙂  Everything on the form was French (thanks Google translate!!!).  So yes…we’re officially accepting this referral!!  Because of where she currently lives, we estimate around 12 months until we can travel to bring her home.  They have a lot of paperwork, transferring her to an orphanage that’s easier to connect with, investigating her abandonment, etc.  There are more things we know, and obviously a picture….that we do not want to share online at this point.  If you know us, and want to connect….give a holler on FB or in person.

It’s a very exciting place to be, and so good to be learning about her, praying for her, and seeing that face as we trust in God moving forward.  Thank YOU for your continual support, love, and prayers.  Certainly there will be fundraisers coming up, and you can still give through our “Both Hands” project for tax credit.  $20k in 12 months seems dauntingly intimidating….but we look forward to looking back and saying “Wow….God made this possible….”

It’s twelve hours to noon.

She stumbles out into the dim-lit living room, Still wiping sleep unsuccessfully from her eyes

Not surprised, I look at her with love, my daughter.

And when push comes to shove, I’ll pause/shut off/put down/walk away from whatever I was doing

Because storms are brewing, and she’s heard the thunder.  It’s no wonder she comes, a child in need of comfort.

And in the stillness of holding her, wiping tears, or squeezing away the fears or at least putting her back to sleep – I hear.

Soft whispers of powerful love, the sort of silent stillness that drew Elijah from the cave

I feel brave, because I’ve followed God.  Not into places that are odd and confounding the wisdom of man,

I’ve simply done what I can, transformed into having the heart of a father.

Just to confirm, in the midst of a squirm I ask her, give a task to her, to answer out of her still-sleepy lips….”Why?”

“Because I had a dream that a raccoon was on my back.”

Oh.

I smile, and lack any giant father-like response as I’m blown away by the simplicity and randomness in her answer.

The nightmares of children that grow like cancer, formless and unpredictable

and blown around by the slightest memory carried into bed.

And what she said more than words spoken was “Dad, with you I’m safe.”

And it’s a trust that chafes if I let the thought consume me and try to bumper every sharp edge

Constantly doing everything I can to drive a wedge between her and potential danger,

Because the risk of tears is no stranger to our world…and even though she’s my girl

And I’d do anything for her…there’s so much I can’t do.  That’s T with a capital True.

That’s okay.  Because I’m not modeling my parenting after Leman or Dobson or the next biggest thing.

But after the Lord who over us sings, He delights in His children and has always been

And will always be.  But most importantly….for me…..as she sleeps on my knee…

He  is.