Posted in Different Books, Different Thoughts

writing stories…

I recently finished reading “Broken” by Karin Fossum. She’s a pretty great Norwegian author, I found simply by looking around at some best sellers from years gone by. Sidenote: I appreciated a book translated from another language – as it certainly seemed to have much less offensive language, even in the midst of very gritty situations.

In this book, there is an author attempting to write. She looks outside to see a line of characters for future stories that are to be written. But at the beginning of the book, one man cuts in line, and enters her home – pleading for her to begin writing his story.

There are great bits of dialogue, both internal and external, about what it means to “want” something for “our story”. Every other chapter or so, he enters the scene of her writing his story, and they talk about who he is, and where his story might lead. There is a thin tension existing between his ability to influence her, and her “big picture” telling of a story she feels is telling itself in many ways.

It reminded me of the role we play as parents. We do not write the story for our children. But it is our privilege and duty to frame their story within a larger story that is very worth telling. In the book, she reminds her character that he still has the ability to make his own choices, and he does this at one point. Her role is simply to give him the tools he needs, and a firm identity with which she can release him at the end of her novel into wherever else his life may lead.

Especially when our children are the young ages they are currently, our job is to make decisions on the larger aspects of plot development. What will this character value? What story will they have grown accustomed to thinking of themselves within? What questions do I want to instill as important for this character to be asking?

At one point in the story, the character asks the author why she didn’t at least give him a God. He has no faith background to handle what he’s going through, and he recognizes how beautiful it would be to have something like that in his story. Instead, he travels through much of the book feeling incomplete or “broken”, like a bridge that seems to lead nowhere.  In fact, it was quite frustrating at times to read how his feelings of being incomplete were crippling his ability to live.

Altogether a great book. Every once in a while, may we imagine our children all grown up, looking over our shoulders as we type their childhood. They may give us some great advice. Even more so, may we hand over the typing to God Himself, as we find our stories written together by the Author and Perfecter of our faith…(Hebrews 12:2)

Posted in Different Thoughts, Uncategorized

gaining courage.

A while back we watched the movie “Courageous” with some friends. My expectations were pretty low, having seen “Fireproof” already. Don’t think I’m a complete hater, because I do agree – the content was great. Given as a message, it definitely meets expectations. Shown as a sermon illustration, there are really good opportunities. I know it challenged men everywhere, and strengthened marriages.

But as a movie – plllllt. I’m not a film critic, and don’t know much about cinematography. All I know is, I love to watch good movies. That was not one of them.

Back to the main topic. Courageous was much better than Fireproof, thankfully. (no Kirk Cameron helped a lot) Still was glad I didn’t pay $10 to see it in a theater, but it was enjoyable, funny, moments that caught me off guard, and a great message.

In one scene, (spoiler alert) a father takes his teenage daughter out for a really nice dinner. He communicates his love to her, and does a pretty good job asking her to remain pure until marriage. I mentally high-fived the guy, because it’s a great picture of parenting a teenage girl. Too often, parents will “send” their teens to a purity event/talk with a bunch of their peers, and the girls come home with ring-power, and a flimsy commitment to do what is socially acceptable. This is the type of conversation/commitment that happens best in the context of a loving family environment – not loud music and a charismatic speaker.

I don’t have teenage daughters, yet. But I do have 3 incredible girls, who I want to become women who love God anywhere near how their mother does. I cannot hope that will happen simply because we share a home with them. I also don’t want to wait until they become teens, and then take them out for a nice dinner, dumping a whole lot of parenting into one moment. Someday, I’ll share a similar talk with my daughters, and Lord willing it will come as a natural progression in our releasing them into adult-hood. Not as an awkward, “oops, forgot…you should know this too.”

I want my daughters to grow up each day knowing they’re loved, and have a safe environment for them to become who they are in Christ. The more solid that foundation is, the less they’ll feel the need to look elsewhere for affirmation and identity. I recognize it’s never a 100% guarantee…but I think we’re off to a pretty good start. 🙂

Posted in Different Scriptures, Different Thoughts

the weakness of Jesus

My wife can often tell when I get stressed.  What she may not always be able to tell, is why I’m stressed.  Recently, we discovered that a bit source of my anxiety comes from my approach to many of life’s simplest of tasks.  When I’m doing something, especially something routine, I’m not usually thinking about what I’m doing.  My mind is 4 or 5 steps down the road, and attempting to do this current step with the greatest efficiency to get there.

A couple examples:  Before I can cook or help much in the kitchen, I have to clean the kitchen.  I don’t like making a mess on top of a mess, and I’ll usually try to keep the kitchen clean while I cook, so that I don’t have to do it all at once afterward.  But one of the biggest areas my anxiety comes out, is when we’re scheduled to be somewhere at a certain time.  I’ve been known to have all the kids with their shoes and coats on 10 minutes before we even need to start getting ready.  She regularly gives me the “chill pill” pep talk.

So the passage we read this week, Mark 1:40-45, strikes a cord as I recognize how wildly inefficient Jesus is.  A man comes up to him, asking to be made clean/healed.  Moved by compassion, Jesus touches the man saying “I am willing..be healed.”  But then he must tell the man not to say anything to anyone.  The man goes off telling everyone!!!  From then on, Jesus “could no longer enter a town openly”, and had to “stay outside in lonely places.”

It’s easy to read this story and think, “Wow, that Jesus sure knew what he was doing.  He was scheming to have that man run ahead announcing great news, and knew the guy couldn’t keep his mouth shut when he healed him.  The best PR is word of mouth!”  But that’s not what we read here.  It sounds more like Jesus was just a poor campaign strategist.  He wasn’t motivated by what would maximize his reach in the cities.  He wasn’t worried about 3 or 4 steps down the road, and what this mans’ commotion would stir up.

He was motivated by Love.

That love compelled him to reach out and touch the man in need.  That touch brought healing and restoration for the man.  But for Jesus, it brought sacrifice.  But I don’t see Jesus doing a fist pump saying “Yes!!  He did exactly what I knew he would!”, or “Aw nuts, now I can’t go to the parties.”  We see Jesus continuing to do what He set out to do, however he can.  He continued to make decisions motivated more by Love than any type of long-range efficiency plan.  Those moments of acting out sacrificial love add together to a life destined for the cross.  When he arrived there, he continued his pattern of being senselessly motivated by God’s Love.

He calls us to that same reckless abandonment of self.  To that same wildly freeing experience of living out God’s Holy Love for others, no matter what it means to what the world would consider our most efficient/favorable path.  Before I sound too hippyish, I suppose I ought to add, I don’t believe this is some sort of romantic – go with the flow – type living where we are blown around by the wind.  Jesus was able to make senseless “in-the-moment” decisions that didn’t make much sense – because His heart was in the hands of God.

My examples above are really pretty silly.  Small things.  But the large picture is this: does my life show my kids how to live motivated by Love…or how to live motivated by efficiency?  It can be tough, especially when it requires sacrifice of the entire household.  But when we live motivated by Love – we are following Jesus…