Author: Wick

Husband, Father, Pastor, Missionary, Writer, Poet, Friend, reader, coffee enthusiast, hockey Wing-Nut, musical participator, etc...
Posted in Different Thoughts

saying no to frosting (sometimes)

Posted on by Wick

I remember when each of our girls turned 1 year old. There’s a tradition that I didn’t even know existed, that my wife made sure we participated in.  The entire family gathered around the giant table to light a candle and sing “Happy Birthday.”  But then came the addition that I was not aware of.  One that part of me continued to happen on our birthday’s until someone was….let’s say….near 30. 🙂

There was a birthday cake, just like any other party. But there wasn’t just one cake. There was another, smaller version of the cake, intended for the birthday girl all to herself.  When the time came, we  set the small cake in front of her and wait to see what would happen.

Her eyes grew wide as she took in the vision of frosty baked goodness in front of her.  Maybe a moment or two of disbelief, as she looks around.  Surely this must be a test? This couldn’t be intended for my enjoyment alone? Finally, her true desire is revealed. She has behaved and told herself “no” long enough.

She is transformed into the being commonly referred to by Dr.Kevin Leman as a “hedonistic little sucker of the ankle-biter battalion”. 🙂  I know many aren’t fans of him calling these cute little fluffy babies anything less than angelic.  But we all know it to be true.  Even as infants, our children are born with a natural self-inclination, and desire for pleasure.  No one needs to teach this to them, or any of us.  If something is enjoyable or tasty, we want it.  (sidenote: I once met a guy who used the word “tasty” in place of “awesome”. I’ve tried to use it also.  So far it doesn’t work for me, but I’m gonna keep trying.)

One of our roles as parents, is to teach our children self-denial.  To help them experience waiting for what they want.  Working toward something.  Enjoying something slowly.  Saying “no” to something, even when they could say “yes”.

Why?

Because we live in a world of assumed expectations.  A culture of entitlement, where the “Pursuit of Happiness” (as defined by any individual) is a basic human right declared in our Declaration of Independence.  There are children (and adults) today, who take every day by the horns, wondering how it can serve them.

As followers of Christ, one of our parental responsibilities is to train our children to put others first.  To proclaim Christ as Lord, instead of self, or selfish pursuits.  To lead them in lives that reflect Philippians 2:4, knowing life will go well for those who appreciate the little things:

“not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.”

Posted in Different Scriptures, Uncategorized

my place.

Posted on by Wick

“..then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is; His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” – Romans 12:2b

I remember as a teenager, chasing the elusive knowledge of “what does God want for my life?” I see teens still chasing that answer today, along with the similar question “who does God want for my life?” in terms of close friendships or marriage. That senior year of college, when resumes are out, and calls are coming in about interviewing can be intimidating. Which direction to go? What call to respond to first? Where to interview? Does God have one path, or does he take joy in watching me choose the adventure for the most part?

Generally, I believe that to be the case. After all, in the “Garden of Eden”, there was only one tree that was forbidden. God offered a lot of choices for food, and probably took pleasure as His creation enjoyed what He had made. We’ve also heard the story of Jonah, where God wants Him to do one specific thing. When he doesn’t do it, God makes it pretty clear this wasn’t simply one choice of many.

But for all the anxieties of growing up, and taking tenuous steps into adulthood, there is a peaceful realization to be had. Now 30 years old, I know I am not immune to “unknowns”.  We live in an economy, and a world where it seems anything could happen to impact each of our lives. We step out on faith daily, as we drive to work, or take our kids to the mall, or eat food made by someone we’ve never met. 🙂

But no matter what changes tomorrow, I have some pretty large constants. My identity as a child of God, and my family.

I went yesterday to get donuts for my family (yup, I’m a hunter-gatherer), and when I came home my kids were still in my bed. They had crawled in very early in the morning, and I snuck out while they slept. As I looked at the bed, I sighed a giant breath of gratitude to all God has given me.  I could see exactly where I fit between them, and that space whispered to me gently, “You are a father.”

The moment didn’t last long, as they realized daddy was taking a picture.  The promise of a donut-shaped breakfast from the night before still ringing in their heads – their eyes lit up. We went to the dining room, where I revealed the spoils of a successful hunt.  I poured the milk, and took my chair right in the midst of them.  Here is my place.

Thanks God. 🙂

Posted in Uncategorized

yo, homie.

Posted on by Wick

A couple years ago, we attended an open house for a group of local homeschooler’s. They offer resources, materials, support, and social gatherings, etc. It was filled with people from all ends of the homeschooling spectrum, and there were some good things being offered. One question we received, as we moved from booth to booth and they learned we were just beginning our journey into the world of schooling at home, was “What made you decide homeschooling was something you wanted to do?”

Tough question to answer while standing there in a few seconds. It’s not the sort of thing we decided instantly, so how would I go about answering such a question politely enough to leave time for others to encounter this booth?

But the answer came quicker/easier than I would have expected.

“We became parents.”

Granted, not everyone who is a parent makes this decision, so it’s hardly a complete response. But for me, it carried a lot in the walls of it’s vocabulary.

We. My wife and I together, our family. Sure, she has a degree in education, and knows a ridiculous amount of things when it comes to teaching. To the point where I’ll probably have to remind myself that this involves me also. Not only “can involve me”…but must. One of the main reasons we are homeschooling…guaranteed parental involvement on a deep level…by both parents. With our completely different personalities and strengths, Sarah and I will definitely have a variety of learning experiences with our children.

Became. It’s not just a title given to someone who has a child. Becoming a parent transforms you in ways that are hard to explain. It involves effort, purpose, and you are never the same. There are things I understand now, that I could only imagine before…that are both incredibly hope-filling and excruciatingly heart-wrenching at the same time. I believe that we are still becoming in many ways, as our daughters grow and age one day at a time.

Parents. Not just “people who have children in their house and keep them alive.” God has given us some pretty hefty instruction all throughout scripture (Deut. 6, etc.) on what it means to raise a family. The amazing gift we’ve been given to join God in bringing about His Kingdom even within our home…is more than a bit humbling. Since becoming parents ourselves, we’ve been surrounded with others who are further along in the parenting journey. We’ve seen it done well, both in regard to public schooling and home schooling. We feel that who we are, and are becoming, fit very well with the freedoms, challenges, and beauty that come from home-schooling.

It definitely takes sacrifice. We’ll have to wait another year or two before purchasing our second home or that yacht. (read – we won’t buy cereal with marshmallows or get extended cable) Doing life as a family of 5 on one income that isn’t going to grow anytime soon – takes commitment. But it’s worth far more than a second income could ever buy us.

Like I said earlier, we are “heading this direction”. As advised by home-schoolers more experienced than ourselves – we take it a year at a time. Who knows, maybe we’ll get to 2nd grade and think “whoa. what are we doing?” But we like what we see each step in this direction, and are praying for God’s guidance and Spirit as we move forward as a family…