Category: Uncategorized

Posted in Uncategorized

Leaving Facebook…

Posted on by Wick

This past week I taught a brief session on “Technology & Wisdom”. There was a LOT of great material, albeit poorly presented. (fellow youth pastors, if you’re interested I can e-mail it to you) But researching the use of technology continued to prick me in the interest of how my personal use could be changed to better honor God.

I’m a Type A personality. I like to be the center of attention, and have a major voice in conversations. Of course, I love a website dedicated to me, and allowing thousands of other people to “thumbs up” what I post. Each time I logged onto Facebook, I watched for the little red alerts at the top, feeding off their “high-five-like” affirmations. I liked thinking that anyone, at any moment in time, might think that I’m important enough to connect with via the interweb. Not much about facebook was helping me learn or grow in my desire to be humble…quite the opposite. The amount of time I’ve spent on this one website alone over the past several years is unhealthy.

The amount of personal validation and affirmation I’ve looked for it to provide, knowingly or subconsciously, is unhealthy. Time I should have given to family, work, marriage, actual friendships, or just breathing slowly in God’s presence…..was stolen (or given away) by my addiction to the site.

So why was this addiction allowed? Because it’s a great website. Seriously.

The ability to share pictures with family and friends who care, is great. The ability to quickly send and receive prayer requests on a large scale, and connect to photo/video updates on what God is doing in the lives of those we care for???? It’s incredible. The amazing support and love that has been given and received many times has been awesome.

And so…I’m only slightly leaving Facebook.

If we’re personal friends/family, please add my wife’s profile. She’s not an addict, and we’ll share the important things/communications of life still.

 If we’re connected through the church/ministry/Free Methodist activities, please add Moundford Youth’s Site. It will be updated with ministry statuses, messages, photos, videos, etc.

If you enjoyed me posting updates from my blog, and want to follow either my writing or our adoption journey, go to: DifferentParent.com, and enter your e-mail address on the right to receive updates!!

Do I think everyone should leave Facebook? Nope. But I’m gonna. Kinda. Thanks for understanding. My profile will be active for about a week to make sure people get the message. May God be with you, as each of us learns and grows in our ability to honor Him with every aspect of our lives…

Posted in Different Scriptures, Different Thoughts, Uncategorized

spilled milk.

Posted on by Wick

Imagine- you’re in the midst of dinner, and your daughter reaches out for the butter dish.  As her arm stretches out across the table, she inadvertently knocks over her glass of milk.  Everything at the table freezes, and gasps are heard from her sisters as all eyes immediately look to you.  There is a layer of fear masking her face as she waits for your response.  You can’t believe she would ever do such a thing.  How could she be so careless?  She obviously has no right sitting at this table.  You respond by asking her to leave the house.

That would never happen, obviously.

As much as we might get frustrated as our children develop their fine motor skills, our Love for them far outweighs any accident they might make.  As they grow, our children experience that Love, and learn it’s depth.  They have the ability to form their identity around the perceived Love felt toward them.

It’s the same in our marriages.  Imagine if I’d accidentally turned my wife’s favorite white shirt pink by washing it with a brand new Detroit Redwings jersey.  Walking up the stairs from the laundry room, I keep my head down, knowing she’ll be unhappy.  As I show her the shirt, her jaw drops at my incompetence.  She tells me firmly that I’m not good enough for her anymore, and there’s the door.

Thank goodness, that would never happen either. 🙂

A marriage is not two perfect people discovering step by step how perfectly they were “created for each other”, so that every step closer to each other is a step toward perfect wedded bliss.  Marriage is two imperfect people, committing to a life together where we are continually refined, forgiven, and grow in our ability to reflect the Love of God.

1 John chapter 4 talks quite a bit about the Love of God.  You’ve probably heard the song, “Beloved, Let Us Love One Another, for Love is of God, and anyone that loves is born of God….etc.”  But I want to point out a verse found later in the chapter…

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

Apparently this was an issue in the early church, and one that is still found in some areas of our walk with God.  The above situations seem obviously silly.  No parent or spouse would ever respond that way. Why?  Because of their love for the other.  Yet, many times we’ll attribute that same judgmental love to God.  We don’t serve a God who’s sitting up straight, nose high, at the end of the table just waiting for one of his clumsy children to spill the milk.   He’s not shaking his head at how incompetent His bride is, as she stumbles along attempting to be the Body of Christ.

As we continue to grow in our faith, and learn about how we are loved by God, we are able to let go of our Spiritual “performance anxiety”.  We are freed from sin, but we may still spill the milk on occasion.  We’ll put ourselves before others.  We’ll make rather silly decisions that require a bit of cleaning up.  The same is true of those we love.  Thankfully, one of the most emphasized messages throughout scripture is the overwhelming Love of God.  Love that we are called to echo in our own lives, toward others as we follow God together.

May we respond lovingly to the milk-spillers in our lives this week, knowing that our own wobbly arms often knock the glass over as well…

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Adoption Update – preparations.

Posted on by Wick

We’ve not even applied yet, officially.  That first application requires a fee that we’re still saving toward.

The male role in waiting for a new child (in my experience so far) has been largely uninvolved.  Sure we helped get the process going, and then we care for the mother and details of the home, but most of the physical burden is carried (literally) by the mother.  Because of this, I think my wife and I have both found ourselves trying on our new roles, and looking in the mirror to see if these are fitting right.  We’re used to being given an exact, unstoppable time-frame (40 weeks), and moving toward that due date with purpose and expectation.

Instead, we’re being asked to release ourselves to what the journey may bring.  We can make large and seemingly tiny decisions along the way: how to raise money, what agency to use, what grants to apply for, what country has  a program that fits our family, etc.  But for the most part, adoption seems to continue being an invitation to release and submit control.  Which is hard, because “preparation” in my mind always means collecting/gathering/building up/gaining control.

The connection is almost too obvious.

In our journey with Christ, we’re tempted to treat it like any other endeavor.  As shown well by ministries like “The Power Team”, and “Extreme”-flavored teen devotionals and music – the Christian journey can be illustrated by being strong and brave enough to follow Christ.  There are certainly many verses that talk about being strong in the Lord, and comparing what we’re doing to the experience of a well-trained athlete.

But these can be easily taken in an unhealthy direction.  Like the young woman who testifies before an audience, “The Bible says the last shall be first, and I want to humble myself as a servant so that I can be FIRST!!”  An important point is being missed there.

What we see in the life and message of Christ and His disciples – is a calling to be strong enough to be vulnerable.  Brave enough to let go of the need to conquer.  Loving enough to be able to give oneself over completely to something Other.  It’s not about building a Christian empire, or gaining control so that enough Christians are in political/social/economic power.

Just as it’s not about me grabbing hold of my family – my wife, my children, our home, etc. – and while flexing our financial/relational/financial muscle, saying to God “Okay God, this is what we’re gonna do in your name!!!!!”  It’s about holding all we have and are with upward turned hands, offering ourselves before His throne, praying “We love you God, how can we be used to carry your presence and announce your Kingdom?”

Waiting on His response…:)