Tag: adoption

Posted in Uncategorized

difficult good news.

Posted on by Wick

It’s hard to believe that what is actually “good news”, can cause so much confusion and hurt.  Yesterday we received an update from our agency about the girl we were on our way to adopting.  The girl who’s mother they were told had passed away.  The girl who’s father even signed relinquishment papers declaring he could not care for her, and is letting go of that burden.  The girl we thought was going to become our daughter.

Her parents came to pick her up.

Just like that.  As if it was some long summer camp, or extended babysitter and now that season was over.  It’s a confusing place to be, because honestly we don’t know who to be upset with.  The parents obviously thought the orphanage was the only option for the survival of their child temporarily, and did what they had to do, in order to survive.  The orphanage responded based on the information they were given.  Our agency was acting in what they believed to be the best interest of a child they were told was an orphan, and a family who wanted to care for her.

And so, Francoise will continue to be named Francoise.  She’s with her parents now, as we would want her to be.  We’re so thankful for the rescue that has come to her life.  At the same time, we grieve.  We mourn the brokenness of a world where confusing situations like this can happen.  We are angry at the systems of oppression and corruption that have led to these moments.  We are exactly where we were before…waiting on God, and praying for Him to bring healing and redemption to the people of the DRC.

It’s hard to let go.  To find the pictures we had printed, the ones we’ve been looking at every night before bed.  The background image on my phone.  The picture we may have given or sent to you.  To tell our children, with smiles on our faces, that Francoise’s mommy and daddy were able to come bring her home, trying really hard to say it as good news.  Yet still offering to hold them – knowing somewhere in them is a sort of “letting go” as well.

If this all raises questions for you, welcome to where we are.  There’s a lot we don’t know, and much of it we won’t ever know.  We’ve shared what we can at this point.

It’s at this point where I would usually turn the corner, and offer a hope for what comes next.  A few words that clean up the mess I’ve talked about, and package it inspirationally.  I don’t have that this time.  I pray for Francoise and her parents as they begin a new life together.  I pray for the renewed search for a young girl who needs a family, and for our journey to raise what’s still needed to bring her home.  I pray for encouragement from God.  Please join us in praying.  Thanks.

Posted in Uncategorized

behind the music.

Posted on by Wick

Usually you hear a great song, and it makes you want to learn the background of it.  Here’s an opportunity to do exactly the opposite.  I want to tell you a little about a song that may be coming your way (already recorded….currently being mixed/mastered!).  It’s one that I wrote earlier this year, about the adoption process we found ourselves in.

The preliminary title I’ve given the song is “Bring You Where I Am”.  It’s an obvious title, that speaks to the heart of the issue: we can’t wait to bring our daughter home.  But, as the song fleshes out, it also connects what we’re experiencing to the heart of God.  This is an area I wanted to say a few words on briefly, before the song becomes an international hit. 🙂

micI believe God’s heart/desire is to “bring us where He is”.  That being said, the emphasis here is not so much on “location” as it is “presence”.  Over the past several years, many of us have begun realizing the fictional futures of “Left Behind” were not actually talked about in the Bible.  We believe God intends to bring His Kingdom fully here, bringing together Heaven & Earth in a completed New Creation.  Still others remain convinced God’s desire is to whisk us away into a far off “Heaven” in the clouds.  Whatever side or middle we land on…we can agree on one thing for sure: The focus is on the presence of God.

That’s the heart of the song.  Not to whisk away a child from the middle of Africa, to our midwestern hometown.  But to bring a child into our home, giving her the loving presence of a mother and father and family/friends who care for her.  Whether we lived in IL, CA, Mexico, Italy, or moved right next door in Africa itself.  It’s about bringing her to be where we are.

Imagine a bowl full of water, floating on the ocean.  Waves come, and rock the bowl back and forth.  But the bowl is not completely filled, and so remains on the surface.  Water might splash in or out of the bowl a bit with choppy waters, but still the bowl remains afloat, riding the waters of the vast ocean.  Until finally, it happens.  The amount of water in the bowl is so great, the bowl is completely overtaken and submerged into the sea.  As the bowl sinks slowly to the bottom, it’s become completely filled as never before, by the presence of ocean-waters.

Would you say the water from the bowl was taken out of the bowl?

No.  You would say the bowl and all of the water within has been swallowed up by the ocean.

So also will all things be swallowed up in God.   (2 Corinthians 5:4)

It’s about singing the song, and a heart that is breaking to somehow have her hear us singing it.  That she would know our heart, and be transformed by the Hope she has for tomorrow.  That God’s heart is breaking for a humanity He longs to listen to His voice as He sings those same words to us.  That we would know His heart, and live transformed by the Hope we have for tomorrow….today.

I really hope you can hear the song…both mine that might cost you 99 cents and help support our adoption.  But even more so, His…that might cost you quite a bit more, but “it’s worth it” is even too cheapening a phrase to use here.  Take time to listen…

(and if you could take a moment to spread the word about about both songs…..share a link to this post…thanks so much!!!)

Posted in Different Thoughts, Uncategorized

an elephant story.

Posted on by Wick

Once upon a time, God had created a large, beautiful field.  Flowers grew, animals played and raised their young, and beneath the surface lay untold mineral value.  Kingdoms all around this field would admire its’ beauty from a distance.  But each was secretly worried that others would come and take its’ beauty for their very own.  Slowly and quietly, the citizens of the surrounding Kingdoms began to find their way onto this field.  They would take away the beautiful flowers.   They would poach the rare and unique animals.  They would claim private access to mining locations all over it’s surface.  The only thing left was it’s rich, tall, grass.  But even this grass was slowly withering, having it’s life choked out one blade at a time.

One day, an elephant appeared on the field….violently claiming ownership.  Offering it’s protection, but trampling down the field from every angle.  No one agreed this elephant was just, as the field had always been the one to take care of it’s incredible grasses.  And so, it was decided by the surrounding Kingdoms, a second elephant would be sent into the field to combat the first.  They nodded their heads in agreement, this was a great idea.  elephants
As the elephants began their dramatic battle over the future of the field – sacrifices had to be made.  At first it began as a small patch of grass.  Eventually, it would grow back and so it was decided this bit of beautiful grass was worth losing, temporarily.

But as the conflict continued, the surrounding Kingdoms began to realize their error.  As blades of grass were being stamped out  left and right, there was hardly time to mourn such loss – let alone know what to do next.  The elephants could not be contained or reigned in once the fight had begun.

Meanwhile, tucked away in a quiet corner of this field, a conversation was happening.  What kind of fertilizer was right for this field?  What would keep the grass growing green, and how much of it needed to be “brought in”?  These were also important conversations and prayers – yet in the midst of them happening – the elephants continued to duel.

As God watched what was happening to the field He’d created, tears rolled down His cheeks…

I don’t believe God is causing us to wait on purpose, forcing us to endure a trial of patience in our journey to bring home our daughter.  But I do believe God is redeeming these moments, by allowing a deepened connection to the people and land of the DRC.  We pray – not only for Phoebe; but for international adoptions, for her country, her extended family, and the suffering down-trodden and voiceless many who continue to dodge the feet of the elephants fighting over them…

(inspired/stolen from a quote from this article)